#guess who's back and gonna try to post more
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x-prettyboy-x · 2 days ago
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Hiii! Can you do an Erik Campbell x Pregnant!Reader, you can do it during the events of the film or not, as long as it has some angst with a happy ending :) If you do it during the events of the film: Erik, who cheated death from the tattoo parlor: As long as my girlfriend is okay and not on death's list, I would gladly die happy.
Reader who's pregnant with his child and hasn't told him yet: Uh...about that...
Unseen Events
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Hello anon, i will try my absolute best. But I fear i may dissapoint, your request is my 4th time total posting fanfic on this platform😭🫶🏻
Pairing: Erik Campbell x Pregnant!FemReader
Warnings: spoilers for final destination bloodlines I guess, mentions of self unaliving and self harm but not.. in a depressing way? In a trying to save everyone way.. yk?
Contents: angst, me not really knowing how to write pregnancy, erik being a panicked bitch(affectionate), alternate universe where Erik is actually in the blood line, me being an Erik girl dad truther.
Wc; 1.4k
Masterlist
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It felt like you'd been sitting in this bathroom for hours, when really it'd been maybe 30 seconds. Just standing and staring at the piece of white and blue plastic you'd just peed on and turned upside down on the bathroom sink. Thank god Erik was at work, he'd be outside the door losing his mind with how long you'd been in there. You got sick one time and he acted like you were dying.
After the longest 5 minutes of your life, you turned the test over. And came face to face with those clear as day pink lines. Those stupid fucking pink lines. You and Erik were careful, always. Except when you decided going to the tattoo shop with him was a good idea, and a client wanted her nipples pierced, one thing led to jealousy, and before you knew it he was closing the shop early and proving he only had eyes for you. Never anyone else. But you hadn't been safe. Of course not. Only your luck, the one time you dont use protection, you end up in this situation.
You wanted kids. You did, really. But you didnt know if Erik did, you two hadn't had that conversation yet. You had no idea how he'd react, and that's what scared you.
That was a month ago. You had this big plan to tell him, and then Iris died. Erik didn't seem to care much, but then his dad died too. How do you tell your boyfriend after two back to back funerals, "Hey, by the way. You're gonna be a dad. Oops"? No.
Things only got worse when the real situation set in. Everyone in Iris's bloodline was on deaths list. She cheated it, she was never meant to have kids, and now her entire bloodline was cursed because of it. Thanks Iris. Now not only am I pregnant and my boyfriend doesn't know, but my baby is stuck with some fucking death curse before its even born. Just perfect.
When Erik came home late rambling about how he'd cheated death, how he survived a fire in the tattoo shop, he was acting like it was nothing. Like your heart wasn't beating out of your fucking chest every minute that ticked by that he wasn't answering your texts.
"Look, its morbid but you're not in the bloodline, you're safe from all this, knowing that? I could die a happy fuckin man. Sucks I lost my favorite jacket though." He'd let out an over exaggerated sigh that made your annoyance only spike more.
Better time than any, I guess. You'd sighed to yourself, clearing your throat and sitting up on his bed, just trying to calm your breathing and willing your heart to stop beating so fast.
"Yeah, about that. I'm not in the bloodline, but I dont think I'm exactly.. safe." You'd started, and you could see the moment his cocky, joking look turned serious and confused, almost pissed off.
"The fuck are you talking about? Why wouldn't you be safe?"
"Kiki, I promise I planned on telling you, okay? But then Iris died, and then your dad and I just- I couldn't find a good time so I kept putting it off. I'm pregnant. I took the stupid test a month ago." You couldn't look at him, but you could see his feet as he started to pace back and forth from where you were staring down at your lap, picking at your nails.
"You didnt think maybe it was a good idea to tell me that the SECOND we found out about this fucking list? What if I had died today? We have no idea how this is gonna work out! You should've told me days ago!"
You could tell when Erik was pissed off, you'd seen it plenty of times when he came home from work complaining about a bitchy client or his boss he hated so much. This wasn't anger, this was panic.
"I know, I'm sorry-" you knew he wasnt angry at you, but your words came out shaky, your voice breaking as you felt tears threatening to fall. Stupid pregnancy hormones.
Erik let out a sigh and moved to kneel down in front of you, using two fingers to tilt your head up to meet his gaze. "Baby, I'm sorry. I didnt mean to yell I'm just.. scared. I didnt care if I died because I knew you'd be safe but now.." he shook his head before continuing, "We're gonna figure this out. Me and the others, we'll figure this out. Find a way to save everyone else on the list. I won't let anything happen to you or this baby, not while I'm living and breathing."
That was a few days ago. And time was running out. You wouldn't let Erik leave the house, ever. Never let him go anywhere alone, always watching over your shoulder for a cup about to fall or some water spilled on the floor somewhere. To say you were paranoid didnt even begin to cover it.
When Stefani, Bobby, Erik and Charlie had loaded into the rv with Darlene, going after some friend of Iris's, you'd begged to go. You didnt wanna let him out of your sight, but everyone involved refused to let you go. Acted like you were some damsel in distress just because you were growing a person. It pissed you off beyond belief. But that anger and frustration quickly became fear and unease as you watched them all drive off.
They made Julia stay with you, making sure you weren't freaking out too much or worse, got in your car and followed after them.
You thought the 5 minutes you waited for that pregnancy test was the longest wait of your life. Oh how wrong you were. Every second that ticked by while you waited to hear something, anything from Erik felt like it was taking years off your life. But nothing ever came. Not a call, not a text. Nothing.
After the longest hours of your life, you finally heard the rv pull back into the driveway, and you ran outside before Julia could stop you. You watched as Stefani, Charlie and Darlene stepped out of the rv, but no Bobby or Erik. The tears started to fall before you even had to time to fight them back, "what happened? Where are they?"
Darlene quickly walked over and gently took your hands into hers, "Hes okay. They both are. We found Iris's friend, he told us how to beat this. Erik had to.. die and come back. Truly cheat death, and everyone else on the list would be safe. He.. came up with this plan to kill himself in the hospital so they could bring him back. It was.. stupid but it worked. He flat lined, and they got him back. They're keeping him on a mental health hold because of course they dont believe the deaths list story, but he's okay. Bobbys with him now."
To say you wanted to scream at him for how stupid he was, how he could've died, how you could've never seen him again, how he could've never met his child was an understatement.
You demanded Darlene take you to the hospital to see him, and how could she argue after telling you something like that? Erik was sedated, apparently he'd tried fighting the doctors when they wouldn't let him leave, no shock there. His wrists were tightly wrapped and the sight made you sick to your stomach. Bobby looked just as sick.
They only kept Erik in the hospital for a few days, letting him out after some therapy sessions and deciding he was "no longer a threat to himself or others." You'd forgotten all about wanting to scream about how stupid he was when he wrapped his arms around you, whispered how much he loved you and how excited he was to be a dad. How could you yell at him after that?
You had a healthy baby girl in the winter, and Erik had never felt happier. Neither had you. Seeing him dress her every morning, refusing to let anyone hold her because he didn't want her to leave his arms, buying dumb baby band t-shirts for her.
He'd die over and over again if that's what it took to keep you and his little girl safe. He'd kill someone if he had to. He'd make sure this little angel in his arms would never know the fear of death, not while he was here to protect her from it.
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rosesmith18 · 2 days ago
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DC is the Wild West My Guy
I'm making this post mainly cause I see a lot of random posts by people in the DC fandom constantly talking about why a ship doesn't make since or is wrong or anything like that. And, I just think the fandom needs a quick reminder that if ANY canon universe says 'fuck the canon we do what we want' it's DC.
They have canon universes where basically every ship you could think of exist. They have universes where characters are vastly different ages. Anyone know Helena Wayne aka Huntress? Batman and Catwoman's kid? Well, what if I told you that she was originally just another superhero who was actually the same age as Batman and Catwoman and had a thing for The Question back in the animated Justice League series?
Anyone recall Dick and Starfire's kid Mar'i? Well, in the current canon she either doesn't exist or is like a toddler while Damian is nearly eighteen, but in another canon they literally got married.
Anyone know Raven? Well, in the newest canon she's the same age and Damian, and they might have dated, but literally in 2003 she was the same age as Dick and Starfire. Which would mean, even if we're going with the oldest animated canon she would be like in her late twenties when Damian was fucking thirteen.
So, with all this knowledge, I ask people; why does it matter if in the current canon Jon is an adult and Damian is a teenager, why CAN'T fans do what the literal canon does all the time, and say 'fuck it', I want them to be teens together and in love?
Damian and Jon aren't the healthiest couple? Well, neither are Batman and Catwoman who have broken up more times than I can count for crime related reasons, or Batman and Talia. One of which is a literal murder just like Damian. Or maybe we forgo the unhealthy relationships and just go to the universe where Batman and Wonderwoman happily got married, because Bruce successfully overcame his trauma in theraby?
Maybe Damian's not gay? Well, guess what, Wonderwoman wasn't bi-twenty some years ago, but here we are. Neither was Catwoman or Harley Quin or Ivy. Nor was Tim bi or Bernard gay who was literally on the hunt for fucking cougars when he first showed up.
My point is, as someone who has seen a LOT of different CANON interpretations of these characters. If you're gonna call certain shippers 'pedos' because the canon interpretation of a ship has an age gap then the DC writers must also be 'pedos' because Damian was once with Raven who should be twenty years older than him. Or, because Helena should be like thirty years younger than The Question. Or hell, because more than once Batman was the affair partner of his seventeen year old son's sixteen year old girlfriend. Anyone remember Barbara and Batman from the Killing Joke or the animated series?
P.S I recently got a comment on this post that made me want to clarify something VERY important. I am not trying to throw hate at any particular ship be it Damirae, Damian x Mar'i, Batman x Catwoman or Batman x Talia, etc. I am just trying to make a point about fiction being flexible. Please do not come on this post with the intention of making anyone feel bad for their opinions and for having fun with the source material. I support any ship, story change, or anything of the sort people want to make in a fandom. And, I am truly sorry if my post made anyone think otherwise.
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mongoosingisme · 1 day ago
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How many complexes do you think Shane has? Personally, I think too many to count, but to name a few:
I think he never really gets over trying to prove himself and his worth. Combination of his gridball days when he was always trying to be the best, and gratitude for helping him get his life together. Constantly trying to take as much as he can off your plate, whether that's cooking or fixing or feeding the animals or begging you to please for the love of Yoba to just come to bed before midnight and let him take care of you.
Also gets jealous pretty easily. It starts with overthinking late at night then he sees another guy at the bar getting a little too friendly and he doesn't say anything right away, but when you get back home his hands are all over you and he's pinning you to the nearest flat surface and eating you like you're his last meal. Won't admit to it after, but you can always tell.
And he'd be a sucker for little displays of affection. Like way more than normal. He's got a little too much self loathing deep down to feel like he deserves someone like you. He'd be opposed to full on making out in public but he melts every time you link your pinky with his, or loop your arm around him when you're walking together. If you lay your head on his shoulder while you watch the moonlight jellies he would short circuit.
All of them. He has all of the complexes.
I agree with everyyyything you said (the jealousy one made me go hnnnnnnnghgggg)
Also
(I wrote an essay I guess I'm so sorry)
Okay, my personal headcanon for Shane is that after his six heart event he pursued therapy/found an antidepressant that worked for him. I see him more as "someone with depression who uses alcohol to cope" more than an alcoholic first, if that makes sense? Not to diminish the work that would have gone into him addressing addiction, but I see an underlying depression as a core issue (I think you get what I mean I'm going to stop explaining now).
OKAY
So I'm a writer and my own experience comes into things a lot, right? I went a very long time with an untreated anxiety disorder/OCD/CPTSD etc etc etc, just kinda white-knuckling life. Then postpartum depression kicked my ass and I got goaded into an SSRI and it worked and I'm eternally grateful to the midwife who talked me into it.
ANYWAY
As I was acclimating to the meds I had this intense period of all my emotions coming back online. All I'd felt for years was this vague sense of unease. No happy, no sad, no angry, not even meh, just a constant mid-level anxiety. Once the meds started working I started feeling other emotions again, and for a while it was like this great burst of energy - life is great! I can do anything! I didn't know I could feel this good! etc etc etc
So I see Shane as going through something similar between his six and eight heart events. He's feeling so much better than he has in years. He's experiencing emotions he didn't know he was capable of. He's buying Jas presents. He's making videos. He's updating his coop and making plans for his chickens. He's kissing you at a gridball game. He. Feels. Amazing.
Then it all kind of settles. He's not back where he was before, but all those background insecurities that quieted down for a while start coming back, and they give him a lot of trouble. That's why I'm not as critical of his post-marriage scenes/dialog/etc as many are - progress isn't linear (but that's just me).
His stance towards life is that things will inevitably go wrong. He's not good enough. Good things won't last. People will leave him. Why bother trying when it won't work out? There's nothing you can do. That fatalism is such an innate part of him that it can really color all of his interactions.
So if you say something that can be interpreted as a criticism, he's going to take it that way even if you didn't mean anything by it. But he's not going to tell you that's why he's upset, he's just gonna shut down and be hard to talk to for a while. You have to take on a lot of the emotional work in the beginning of your relationship because he's just not used to having someone take the time to work through a miscommunication with him.
And there's always a part of him that doesn't believe you really want him, and that any second he's going to get rejected. Why would you want him? You're perfect, he's trash... at least that's how he sees it. And so any clear, irrefutable indication that you want him is like catnip to him. That's why when you squeeze his hand he always squeezes it back harder. That's why he melts when he's sitting down and you wrap your arms around his neck. That's why he LIVES to go down on you. He's going to lose it if you pull his hair, just press his fingers into your thighs and absolutely lose himself in you, because as long as you're pulling like that he doesn't have to worry about whether you really want to be there or not. And he's always worried you're seconds away from pushing him away, so he approaches every second like it might be the last time he gets his mouth on you.
You both like this.
I think he has good days and bad days, and can really get in his head about it. Much about his past implies that he gravitates towards situations where his physical performance is paramount. He played gridball. He helps on the ranch. He stocks shelves at Joja. He has to move, even when he doesn't want to. He's used to having to haul his body around even when it hurts. So to be in a situation where he can take a break, where he's wanted for who he is rather than how he is performing... It's a lot for him. Expect to have days where he just drags you back into bed and spoons you and pushes his mouth into your neck and won't let you up for a while. He really needs it.
Oh god I'm sure there's more but I want to get this thing posted and I've written enough already this ask is great thank you so much I love you bye
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deoidesign · 8 months ago
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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thatfriendlyanon · 2 months ago
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i think part of my problem is i lived with my best friend for two years of my life and have been searching for the same feeling of joy & acceptance & support ever since
#like I’ve sat down and had a think about it and the times I’ve felt the least lonely in the last 5+ years are when my roommates were close#friends I could pray with/laugh with/cry with/unmask with#something something you can’t keep trying to go back somewhere that doesn’t exist anymore you need to go forward#but the only way I can see myself thriving is if I can live with people/someone who feel(s) like home#and I know that can come with time and you meet new people and make new friends and settle down somewhere and slowly build yourself a life#but how do you do that without dying along the way#and I’m here in this new state and I’m trying to be content but there’s the very real possibility everything is going to change *again*#later this year and I just. I’m done I want it all to be over I want to get to find someone and commit my life to them and get to know we’r#we’re gonna figure it out together#and bitterness is so tempting right now bc unless God heals & transforms & really really surprises me#(all of which He CAN do but I just have never thought that was His desire for me); unless that happens I will probably be alone for the#rest of my life#and I can write essays on the importance of platonic friendships and how good and beautiful it is to value them but that grows weaker and#weaker the older you get the more all your friends seek marriage and find their other halves and you’re still. just. There#it’s nearly midnight and I should write a poem instead of processing in the tags of a post but really I may just go to bed#I’m so glad I have a phone call and prayer group to look forward to tomorrow#and the Bible study tonight was good <3 some things were hard about it but my soul was comforted#and I may have even more questions but at the very least right now I know God is Love#and that is the bottom line of any answer that I seek#….which I guess maybe loops back to the processing too. I know He is love I know He’s supposed to be sufficient#so what do you do when that doesn’t FEEL like enough#God I believe help my unbelief. please#elle rambles#[y]#/p
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shiryawashere · 5 months ago
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you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it
#idk i've been pretty stressed that's probably why i randomly got rly sad abt it#and by it i mean the uh. gestures vaguely at fandom i guess#either nobody's there or it feels like i'm not exactly welcome. or both! which tough shit i'mma take up the space regardless but like#this weird sense of elitism I get in a space that's built by and nurtured by people whose MO is 'caring a lot' is.. hm.. interesting#idk just got reminded this morning that some people view critique as a free pass to drag a creator through the mud#when what you SHOULD be doing is uplifting them so that they can improve and reach their maximum potential. you clown. you absolute buffoon#it wasn't targeted at me or anything it just made me so angry/sad. smad. i'm smad about it#i just get hit with a wave of what's the point. what's the fucking point nobody cares abt things made with passion for the love of the game#we don't have time/it's not good enough/it doesn't matter/it's been done better/why x when we have y#and you know what fair enough everyone's entitled to their own emotional responses of course.#if you think your opinion is reason enough to tear it down then we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one i think#just keep in mind that you could have loved what they made. other people could have loved it. it could have changed something for someone.#i personally know artists and have worked with artists who have put so so much effort into making something work over and over and over#only to have no audience and get back up saying guys let's give this just one more try.#hell back in the day I was an accomplished writer kid who was told that you may be good but nobody gives a fuck#artists who use up all these resources just to bring something new into the world and nobody's looking. what's the point. what's the point#anyway. i'm gonna go wade through the snow for a bit maybe sink my bare hands into it you guys want anything#started the post thinkin abt my blorbos ending it crying putting my shoes on alright I'm going I'm GETTING the FRESH AIR fuck off#i'll be god once i've gotten a bottle of coke and some mozzarella sticks. wait am i pmsing. fuck#god i hate that i don't drink sometimes.
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muckablucka · 5 months ago
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you know what whenever I need to become tired I'm just gonna read about genetics while simultaneously listening to the constant ticking of clocks and I will get sleepy so fast. not that genetics is boring— I actually find it fascinating, and would love to learn more— it just makes me so drowsy and tired when reading about it and also the ticking of really just any timepiece soothes me
#honestly trying to cram as much information into my one [1] neuron as possible has become a regular activity for me#specifically late at night for some reason which is strange because i perform much better during the daytime because I'm not TIRED. usually#once i wrote a short report about chimerism and OH. MY GOD THAT WAS SO FUN I LOOOOVEEE CHIMERISM#chimerism is actually what got me semi into genetics. I've been reading about the basics of it for a bit#i used to be absolutely obsessed with cell biology— around 2023?— but that has since then passed. my favorite cells were the#dendritic cells. like the ones that present antigens. idk i don't remember much#oh fun fact. as some of you may know there's a type of white blood cell called the macrophage#and their name literally means “big eater”#anyways back to chimerism. I've posted several times about it and once gave a brief explanation mainly focusing on tetragametic chimerism#i think one of the main reasons why i'm so infatuated with it is because my OC has it. most of you probably know who I'm talking about#i really want to start studying astronomy again because i used to have such a large passion for it when i was younger but it eventually#faded away after a while. i've loved space since i was— and this is a guess— 7 or 8?#gonna be honest i take quite a liking towards the feeling of tiredness after studying any of my interests for a long time. it makes#me feel rather contented. my eyes get so tired after i stay up really late studying and going to sleep after I'm done is great#usually i prefer reading books to obtain information about my scientific interests#but in the case of chimerism there's barely any books covering it so i have to resort to online articles#OUGH i have this bird book i really love. What It's Like to Be a Bird by David Allen Sibley. wonderful illustrations and also great#descriptions of the various birds featured in the book. it also goes into more detailed explanations of adaptations of birds#and stuff of the like. it's kind of a big book though lol. not page wise but i mean it just. takes up a lot of space#it's kind of unfortunate because not many people that i know in real life share a passion for any sciences however i can understand that#to a degree. i get told that I'm talking too much when i start rambling about science however I don't take this to heart#and it doesn't really affect me. nothing can stop my love for science. nothing
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tardis--dreams · 10 months ago
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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kitchensinksurrealism · 3 days ago
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I like how my marvin the martian tag used to be just that, but then the hyperfixation came back after 12 years and now his tag is just marvin bc I guess we're on a first name basis now?
#it's bc i wanted him to be like the kennypierreswaghilda tags#the four horsemen of the blorbo apocalypse but he can be included in that and also i've known him longer than any of them so like#he deserves first name basis tag more than anyone#OMG do you know who deserves it even more than him? mr cody total drama himself#or eric from supernormal but who the hell is posting about supernormal in 2025. who was even posting about it in 2006#anywayyyyyyy uhhhhhh okay so like i think about the 5 blorbos with their own tags#and i keep thinking about swag and hilda bc like. they're The Recents#and both of them are still in that post-hyperfixation irrelevancy in the way that i literally don't think about them at all#and when i do i feel little feelings. which i find a fascinating phenomenon. but anyway#i am getting SOME vibes from swag. which means maybe he's reaching a new stage. good for him if so#also they're both in two oppositely unfortunate year situations bc like#swag obsession 2022. perfect year that got ruined by external circumstances at the end. which makes 2022 feel so sacred#untouchable. i can never go back but i can look at it longingly...#whereas 2023 was so shit i don't even wanna touch it or look at it#so swag i can't think about bc it feels wrong to feel extreme thoughts about something associated with such a holy era#and hilda i can't think about bc it would create nostalgia for something i don't even care enough to romanticise#but again it was only 2 years ago just wait a few years and i'll be posting about how much i miss 2023 take me back life was so good#@ 27yo me when she he they it xe ze ey whatever inevitably posts that: you are so incorrect#but also also also like wtf has this post become it was meant to be a silly thing about how me and marvin the martian are besties#that was never mentioned but should be heavily implied bc we would be besties <3#we probably wouldn't he'd probably vaporise me but like?? i'd let him? god forbid an autistic guy has a hobby#why am i even talking about him i'm not even obsessed with him anymore. back on my rainbow dash shit#watched the sonic rainboom episode for pride month ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 i didn't watch it for that i just watched it for nostalgia#bc it changed me when i was 12. but for gay reasons so i guess maybe it is for pride month#god stop talkingHOW MANY MORE BLORBOS CAN YOU EVEN MENTION??#um. jimmy. that slag. i'm gonna go reblog a quadrophenia gifset. okay bye#wait i'm gonna try and reach tag limit#🧍‍♂️#okay now bye#ramble
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neverendingford · 4 months ago
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#tag talk#I hate that my queue is posting so much right now. 25 a day is too many I think. I really wish I were down to 10-15 instead#but I've been living on tumblr so much until work starts so I've been seeing more art so I've been queuing up a ton#so I apologize but that's just how my blog is gonna run until I get busier irl again.#when I get busy living my real life I'll drop down to like 10 a day but until then my queue reflects my time spent here.#idk. it's nice to hit the point when I realize I don't have time to keep up with my dash anymore and I start unfollow lower priority blogs#but for now I'm way more active here until I can transition to finding in person activities#so yeah. deal with it I guess. Lotta new followers who have each followed me for wildly different things.#like.. sorry to all the cute furry art lovers. I'm trying to transition over to more body horror shit.#sorry to the body horror and Hannibal lovers. you still have to put up with cutesy furry art if you wanna stay here.#idk. we all contain multitudes. at least you can trust I won't be reblogging basic bitch meme shit#it's still always gonna be art shit on this blog. that at least has been consistent since 2015#what that art is? Who fucking knows. but it'll always be art in some form or fashion.#or educational shit. some of that too.#idk. my mind is a mess right now and my blog will reflect that. I am what I am. I try and communicate myself honestly and truthfully.#I try. that's the best I can do.#oh oh oh. my brother and I went for a walk along the train tracks and we met a guy trying to drive his car down the alley alongside it#he was stuck because there was a heap of tree trimmings piled in the middle of the alley so we helped him move them.#well. I helped him move them. my brother is a little more skittish than I am and didn't want to get his shoes muddy.#my brother is the kind of person to buy shoe protecting spray (which I didn't even know existed until he bought some this morning)#I don't give a shit. I've gotten concrete and mud and paint on my vans. he's too ocd for that tho.#anyway. poor guy was lost as hell. there's no road connecting to that alley for like.. at least three miles. I checked when we got back home#the trail was clear past the branches though so he got back on the road safely. but damn he was lost as hell.#I love frequenting alleys and bridges and washes because you see such interesting stuff.
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dexaroth · 4 months ago
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licherally how it feels to read the deconstruction of a story and everyone speaking so eloquently about character motivations and the way they act and talk and the whys of that and the bunch of details that lead to those conclusions meanwhile i can barely scrape a personality for my ocs
#reblogging a bunch of d:bh posts on my sideblog and realizing just how little i know of it compared to everyone else#and things in general. ngl i feel dumb! and embarassed! im stupid as shit man!#how am i supposed to have ocs if i cant even read a character any deeper than superficial things#well i guess i can read like a Smidge under the surface bc im not those people who see connor as a clueless bimbo or whatever#but like damn. i know so little about things.. and im so conflicted too.. like.#theres this sort of manic personality that always worms its way onto the personality of my ocs and they all feel too similar#but it also helps that i Still havent managed to write a world that i like either. it really doesnt help! people are a product of their>#>reality! and its like Wow. i really have fucking nothing to go off of huh. sigh...#i know its impossible to know how bad the writing is bc i didnt post or chat about it but. i feel like im trying to bite more thani can che#man i think i finally found the anti-hobby. i think i really lack everything you need to make good characters/worlds/stories#like knowing different people/diff perspectives. having watched/read other stories to learn from. i lack it all!#so much of what i want to do falls back into boring magic tropes. i think if anyone ever sees my vision im gonna be shot for being pathetic#^that someone is probably me as well but thats besides the point#dextxt#but also funny part of getting into d:bh and the fan-readings is that it helped to realize how bad the writing is lol#its not.. it doesnt seem to be terrible. but there are many flaws. and there are smarter people than me pointing them out all the time#like damn! if even so many games cant make a good story what is a nobody like me even gonna do! girl help im dying here!!
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pencil-n-pen · 5 months ago
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ALL I DO IS TRY, TRY, TRY
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post prison! spencer x genius fem! reader
masterlist | ko-fi | next
summary: all your life, you’ve been second-best. Even now that you’ve been chosen to be an agent of the BAU, you’re just a replacement for Spencer Reid. What could change now that’s he’s out?
cw: there is a bit of an age gap, i imagined reader in her early to mid 20’s, nevermind how it isn’t accurate for working at FBI. this is a criminal minds fic, so there are graphic depictions of violence, as well as implied/referenced child neglect/abuse in readers childhood, reader is somewhat a genius
tropes/tags: slowburn on readers end, Spencer is flirting from the beginning, HURT/COMFORT, angst, bit of a sick fic in one scene, bit of soft dom! spencer as a treat
a/n : this came to me in a prophecy. full disclosure i haven’t actually seen the prison arc yet so if there’s any inaccuracies shhhhhh look at the fluff
also !! this is a LOOOOONG one. strap yourselves in. grab snacks and drinks
slipped in some very slight father figure Hotch bc that’s my crack
title taken from Mirrorball by Taylor Swift
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Spencer Reid is absolutely nothing like you’d thought he’d be.
From how the team talked about him, you’d been expecting a short, slight man. Someone quiet and meek and non-threatening.
And Dr. (Agent?) Reid was quiet. But not in the don’t-notice-me way, but in the I-know-what-I’m-doing-and-don’t-need-to-say-it way. He quietly commanded attention and respect. One look at the man told you he was not somebody to fuck with.
He was also really, really, really hot.
It was unfortunate and difficult, truly, because he’s your senior agent, someone who’s got more than a few years on you in both field experience and general age. He’s a genius- insanely good at what he does and there’s no refuting that.
But most of all, he’s kind and respectful and just genuinely a good person. And also good looking. Did you mention that yet?
He clicks seamlessly into place with the team in a way you’ve never managed to do in the time you’ve been with him. And after all, why would you? You’re just the rookie transfer with a bit higher than average IQ. Nothing to brag about. Nothing like Spencer.
You were a data analyst with the FBI before your boss told you: “The BAU is looking for a temporary genius. I put your name in the ring. Hotchner must’ve been impressed with something, cause he picked you. I know you’ve completed the training courses for their team, so pack your desk. You’ve got a new assignment.”
And just like that, every single one of your dreams came true. And then promptly burst into flames and burned to ashes when you realized what exactly your position on the team was: Temporary and replacing.
It makes sense, you guess. The team grew to rely on Reid’s quick wit and intellect. And beyond that, they’re an agent short. And you fit the bill well enough: swift and intelligent. Nothing more, nothing less. It became clear during the first few weeks that no one on the team had any intention of liking or particularly getting to know you beyond a professional capacity. And you get it, you really do. You don’t name the dog you’re gonna get rid of.
With the exception of Penelope. But you don’t think she has the ability to ignore someone without a clear reason.
So you did your job and you were good at it. Held the team at arm’s length even when they warmed up to you. Kept your head down, stuck to yourself. This way, it’s easier to stop yourself from leaning into JJ and Prentiss’s jokes, or to stamp down the glow in your chest from Hotch’s approval.
All of this hard work goes sailing straight out the window and spattering on the concrete below when Reid comes back. Because all it took was one case together- one. And then you’re hopelessly in love with the guy you replaced.
And it’s all kinds of terrible, because it’s Reid. He’s not only your coworker —soon to be ex, because now that he’s back you’ll be out of a job— but he’s also so incredibly out of your league it’s not even funny. But he keeps smiling at you and including you in conversations and saying hi to you and asking your opinion on things during cases as if you would have more to add than he does.
It’s very hard to keep him at arms length. And because Reid is Reid he drags everybody else over with him and then you’re bonding with a team you have a week left with, maybe two.
Spencer Reid has weaseled his way into your life one stupid smile at a time.
The case is going terribly.
What started as a run-of-the-mill serial killer case in some nowhere town turned into huge investigation because Spe— Reid figured out its relation to a cold case from a neighboring town decades prior. And then, to top everything off, just so happens to be near enough to your hometown that your mom saw you on the news when JJ was giving a statement.
And now she won’t stop calling.
Prior to this, you haven’t talked to your mom in about seven months. Now? She’s calling upwards of twelve times a day.
“Mom,” You say, tucked in one of the police stations back rooms, pinching the bridge of your nose, “I’m working, I can’t just come out to see you—“
“But you’ve never visited! And your finally in town, and—“
“I’m not in town, I’m a four hour drive away from town.”
A sigh crackles through the line, her voice tinny. “You know, your brother always made time to visit family, and your younger brothers—“
“Are younger than me and more successful, yes mom, I’ve heard it all before. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to catch a serial killer.”
You snap the phone shut before she can protest, effectively ending the call. You sag against the wall, sighing deep and weary. Exhaustion clings to your bones. It’s not just your mom. This case, being physically close to your hometown, everything— it’s weighing you down. You spend more time in the hotel bed tossing and turning than sleeping.
Even Em— Prentiss had shot you look when you’d came in this morning- though jury’s still out about whether or not it was an are-you-okay look or a you-better-be-good-for-the-case look. You’re hoping it’s the former.
The room you’re in is empty- the precinct that called for the team went under renovation and remodeling last year, so some of the rooms have fallen into disuse, apparently. It’s dusty, and filled with boxes and papers and weirdly, one or two condom wrappers. You wish you were surprised.
Your phone has been put strongly on silent, and you’re not expecting anyone to find you for at least twenty minutes. Of course, you don’t need twenty minutes. You just need five.
You just need to collect yourself for a moment. A few minutes to breathe, to get your mom’s words and the unpleasant memories they bring out of your head; to will the shake out of your hands and the cold creeping in your lungs.
So when the door opens, you nearly jump out of your skin.
Spencer walks in, phone clasped in one hand and a worried expression on his face.
“We’re getting ready to give the profile.”
“Oh,” You peel yourself off the wall, discreetly wiping at your face. You hadn’t noticed the frustrated tears carving lines down your face, “Sorry, I’m coming.”
He frowns as you come closer, and panic begins to beat like a drum in your chest.
“Is Hotch upset? I just had to take a call, I thought it would—“
“Slow down,” He says, raising his hands. “Hotch isn’t upset. Is something wrong?”
“No,” You say quickly, too quickly, because his frown deepens.
“You’ve been taking a lot more calls recently and you’re always upset after they’re over. Is someone bothering you?”
You sigh, rubbing at your face. “My mom. We’re a four hour drive away from my hometown. She saw me on the news when JJ gave her statement.”
Something flashes in his eyes when you say your mother, but it’s gone before you can decipher it.
“You don’t want to see her.”
He says it flat-toned and blank. Like it’s a fact.
It is a fact.
“No,” You confess, “I’ve never been close with my parents. I haven’t spoken to her beyond a text in years, and I haven’t texted her in months. Then she sees me on the news and I’m back on her radar again.”
You chuckle, but there’s no humor in it. “Oh, the folly of the disappointing daughter.”
He tilts his head, questioning. “You’ve made something of yourself. You’re a special agent. That’s not nothing.”
“Yeah, well. It’s not Doctor or Lawyer or C.E.O or anything else my brothers or cousins have made of themselves, so,” You shrug. “Disappointing.”
“Well that’s stupid,” Spencer says, a small curl to his lips, “You keep all of those stupid people safe by catching serial killers.”
“You’re a doctor. Did you just call yourself stupid?”
He shrugs, mimicking your earlier action. “I’m not that kind of doctor.”
You look down to hide the smile on your face but he ducks down, catching it anyway.
“Hey,” He says, eyes catching yours, “If you want to talk, you know where to find me.”
You (hesitantly) look up to meet his gaze. “Thanks, Reid.”
His face does something weird. Contorts at the words, just for a second. Like he just bit into something sour.
And then it’s gone.
“Of course.”
For the rest of the case, everytime your phone rings, Spencer looks at you. You’re getting close to just throwing the damn thing off a roof, if it’ll convince him to stop looking at you like that. You don’t know what to do with it. The look he gives you tastes like worry, and you don’t know what to do about Spencer Reid worrying about you.
You never meet his gaze. You know he’s looking, but you never look back.
Finally, the case comes to an end. Actually, it goes out in a literal blaze of glory— the unsub lights his kill shed on fire.
All of it would have burned to ash if you hadn’t run into the structure and and snatched the murder weapon and the most damning pieces of evidence: the printed photographs the unsub took with the victims.
It’s a win because you saved the evidence.
It’s a loss because Hotch looks pissed while the paramedics check you over.
Well. You assume he looks pissed. You’re staring resolutely at your shoes.
Finally, the paramedic gives you the all clear —just some minor burns here and there, you got lucky— and you no longer have a human buffer and excuse to avoid talking.
The silence stretches out between you two. Eventually, you cave.
“Hotch, I’m sorry—“
He holds a hand up and you clamp your jaw shut.
“Did you not hear me give the order to stay back?”
“I just thought—“
“We are a team, agent. I need to be able to trust not only that you’re going to follow my orders but be able to work together with the team. Now, you’re not doing either of those things.”
You frown. “I do follow your orders.”
He sighs. “You didn’t today. And more importantly, you’re not acting like a member of this team. You don’t call for backup. You don’t ask for help. You do good profiling work, agent. But if you can’t work with this team then we might need to reconsider your position here.”
That… doesn’t make any sense.
Hotch catches the confusion on your face. “Something wrong, agent?”
“I just— I was under the impression that I would only be working with the team for a few more weeks…?”
Now it’s his turn to look confused. “You may have been hired at an inopportune time, and until the first year is over it is a probationary basis, but pending review, you are and always have been a permanent member of this unit.”
You blink. “Oh.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “You didn’t think you’d be staying for long.”
You shake your head, your world turned on its head.
He hums. “You should buy earplugs. Rossi snores.”
You drop your head into your hands.
“And agent?”
You look up.
“You did good work today. You have a team. Learn to use them.”
He walks away, leaving you to process this crisis-inducing information.
So. You’re not leaving the team. You’re a profiler. Forever. This is your job now.
So does that mean you weren’t replacing Spencer? So why were you hired? Anything you can do multiple people on the team can do better. Why would Hotch pick you?
You stare at the pavement, which gives you a perfect view to watch Spencer’s shoes walk into view and hear him settle next to you.
“You’re a little young to be having a mid-life crisis.”
It takes you an embarrassingly long time to respond, partly because you’re not sure what to say, but also, the length of his thigh is pressed against yours and it’s hard to think when he’s emanating warmth and you can’t stop yourself from thinking about how it would feel to touch, skin to skin.
“Well,” You croak, “I did just get some pretty big news.”
He leans back on his hands, raising an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Looking up at him was a mistake. Bathed in the glow of the ambulance and the light from the moon, you can see just how long his eyelashes are, and how his lips move when he says your name.
Oh shit.
“Sorry, what?”
His face twitches in a smile. “I asked if you were okay. You were staring.”
You flush from your neck to the tips of your ears. “Sorry. It’s been a long day. I’m fine. I was just thinking.”
“About?”
See, he always does this. Most people would end the conversation there and move on. And that’s fine. It’s normal. But Spencer asks. Like he’s interested.
You shrug. “I thought… I thought I was leaving the team in a few weeks. Turns out i’m staying.”
He starts swinging his legs on the edge of the ambulance, though where his almost brush the ground, yours swing several inches above it. “Why did you think you were leaving?”
You laugh softly. “My boss told me the position was temporary. And in my excitement of getting it I may or may not have… not read the paperwork?”
He clicks his tongue. “Oh, honey.”
The tips of your ears burn. “I was excited!”
“To get a job staring at gruesome crime photos?”
“To help people.”
“What? Data analysis not helping people enough?”
“Do I even have to answer that?”
He snorts, his body shaking against yours. “You’re a consulting analyst. That’s the big leagues.”
Now it’s your turn to huff. “Is there a big leagues for data analysis?”
He leans his head down to look at you. “Well, maybe miss smarty-pants over here made a league of her own.”
The shade of red you turn must be visible, dark and bad lighting aside. “You have an IQ of 187. Can you really call me a smarty-pants?”
He tilts his head, giving you an assessing look. You recognize it. He gives case files the same look.
A faint shudder runs down the length of your spine at that precise, clinical gaze.
It should concern you, unnerve you.
It doesn’t.
“No, I’m positive. You’re a smarty-pants.”
You look away, unable to hold the intensity of his gaze.
“Hey, no. Come on, you gotta own up to being a smarty-pants. Otherwise you ruin the effect.”
“Am I supposed to start wearing sweaters and Converse, then?”
“Well, that wouldn’t be owning the smarty-pants look.”
“Do we have to keep the smarty-pants thing going?”
“Took your mind off the burns, didn’t it?”
You blink, realizing that you haven’t noticed the dull sting of the minor burns littering your body for a few minutes now.
But that has less to do with Spencer speaking and more to do with the fact that he’s here. Touching you. If you focus really hard, you can feel the chords of muscle lining his arm.
“Uh,” You stutter, momentarily flabbergasted by the way he’s looking at you. Like it’s important to him— you not being in pain. “Yeah, yeah, I guess. Well. I feel them now.”
“Oh, shame. I guess we’ll just have to keep talking.”
You furrow your brows. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be? Shouldn’t you be helping finish wrapping up the case?”
He shrugs. “I’m right where I want to be.”
That’s a decidedly very loaded statement that are not going to unpack.
You’re not going to unpack to jolt of pure electricity you feel from it, either.
You may or may not have lied about just how sick you were, exactly.
“You know,” Rossi says after you hack a cough into your elbow for what has to be the fiftieth time in as many minutes, “That’s starting to sound less like the plague and more like desperation.”
You sniff harshly, taking a swig of cough syrup and praying this isn’t the king with codeine in it. You didn’t read the label very well. “What do you mean?”
Prentiss raises an eyebrow. “He’s saying that most people on their veritable death/bed opt to sleep comfortably in their own beds in their own homes rather than on a plane to hunt down a violent killer.”
You think if your apartment— it’s cozy, at least, but still a glaring reminder of the reason you told Hotch you were fine to come in- loneliness.
You have heated blankets and warm lighting and books and tea —boxes and boxes of tea— and all manner of things that make you happy. But no amount of things can replace, tangible human connection.
You knew the ache of spending the day in your apartment would sting worse than the cold. Fever, Whatever you have.
“I’m thinking of a word,” JJ says, mock tapping her chin thoughtfully, “Starts with work, ends with holic.”
“I am not a workaholic,” you wheeze. “I am fine.”
“Yes,” Prentiss says, raising her other eyebrow. Oh no. Not the double eyebrow raise. “Because this is exactly what the picture of health looks like.”
To avoid answering, you take another swig of cough medicine.
“Just do you know,” Spencer says, “You’re about one tiny sip of that away from overdosing. I’d cool it on the cough syrup.”
“But I’m still coughing.”
“Have you given it any time to work?”
“It’s been thirty-ish minutes since I took the first dose.”
He levels you with a look at your usage of dose. “Why don’t you wait a little longer before committing suicide via shallow breathing and seizures.”
You wave a hand. “It’s fine. I know how to take care of myself when I’m sick.”
“Is your version of taking care of yourself just continuously taking medicine until the symptoms become bearable?”
“You’re un-bearable.” You snort at your play on words, but grow quiet because when you look up, the entire team is looking at you. “What?”
“You never joke.” JJ says.
“And I think I’ve heard you laugh exactly two times, and I’m pretty sure one of them was a sneeze.” Rossi says, a look of vague disbelief on his face.
You squirm in place. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Uh, yeah it is. You’re definitely too sick to be on a case if you’re laughing.”
“Come on, it was barely a chuckle—“
Spencer looks around. “Yeah, what’s the big deal? I’ve heard her laugh before.”
JJ and Prentiss snap their heads to him in tandem. “What?”
Now he looks vaguely uncomfortable. “I just don’t get why it’s such a big deal.”
“That’s cause you showed up late to the party,” Em- Prentiss says, “You didn’t meet her when she first came. She was all genius consulting data analyst.”
“I wouldn’t call myself a genius—“
“Yeah,” JJ chimes in, “I only ever saw her smile to be polite.”
“Wait,” Prentiss says, brows pinched, “You heard her laugh and you didn’t tell us? You knew we were trying to see who would make her break first.”
“You guys were trying to make me laugh? Is that what was happening all that time? I almost called Hotch like, thirty times because I was concerned for you guy’s mental wellbeing. I thought you’d had a nervous breakdown.”
JJ snorts. “Nope. Just tried to see if the rumors were true about all data analysts being robots.”
You cough into your elbow. “You guys make it seem like I was some sort of frigid bitch.”
“Frigid, yes. Bitch, no.”
“Hey!” You retort, then wince as the volume of your own voice makes your head pound harder and makes your throat sting worse, “I wasn’t that bad. Also, I was nervous! I’m the youngest person here by like, a long shot. I wanted to be professional.”
“I for one enjoyed it,” Rossi cuts in, “It was all blunt business. Straight to the point. No beating around the bush or gossiping. A few people here could learn a thing or two.”
“See?” You gesture. “Rossi agrees with me.”
Just about everyone on the plane gives you the exact same look. Hotch especially, who’s stayed silent during the entire exchange, looks troubled.
Once you land (an ordeal that normally doesn’t bother you, but today, had you worshipping the porcelain altar) Hotch pulls you aside.
“Agent,” He says before you climb into the car that’ll take you to the police precinct, “I can’t have an agent not at peak performance on this case.”
You frown. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you’re too sick to work this case—“
“No, no, I can work, I can do it—“
“—In the field. You’re working from the station until we wrap up. Understood?”
You sigh, knowing when you’re beat. “Understood.”
He gazes at you for a second. “You might want to call out of work entirely the next time you’re sick, you know. The less time you spend resting the longer it’ll take to get better. I expect to see you taking care of yourself at the precinct.”
You blink. “Are you… dad-ing me?”
He almost smiles. “Well, I am a father. It’s bound to come out sometimes.”
The joke soothes your concerns of him being upset with you (again.) You suppose it would’ve been warranted —Hotch never gets upset without a reason— but still. He’s the only one you occasionally struggle to read.
The good news is by the time you make it to the station, your medicine has kicked in.
The bad news is when you get to the station your medicine has kicked in.
“Spencer,” You say, spinning in a spinny chair and staring at his blurry face. “Did you know that elephants have prehensile—“
“Do not finish that sentence.” He says, glancing back at the team, all in various stages of concern, disgust, amusement, and annoyance. “Did you take non-drowsy cough medicine?”
“Yes! I didn’t want to be tired.”
He scrubs a tired hand down his face, then nudges a sealed water bottle across the table to you. “Drink that.”
You wrinkle your nose. “But my throat hurts.”
“Drink it anyway.”
You snatch the water bottle, grumbling the whole time as you crack the seal and gulp down the water, not realizing how thirsty you were until this very second.
You lean your forehead on the table head still pounding from the pressure in your sinuses. You feel a prickle in the back of your neck, signifying that the team is still staring at you.
With great effort, you lift your head, tilting your chin up and trying to summon all the self confidence you don’t actually have.
“I am making a fool of myself. Please disregard my actions until I am no longer ill. This won’t happen again.”
Words are hard. Speaking is hard. With a groan, you drop your head back on your arm.
“Ah, there she is.”
“Knew that laugh had to be a fluke.”
“Cold medicine must be working.”
There are other mutterings about stubborn geniuses and workaholics and data analysis and Spencer staying at the station and—
You snap your head up. “I’m fine. I don’t need a baby-sitter. Spencer would be most useful in the field. He’s one of the best shot’s on the team.”
“And when it comes to needing a marksman I won’t hesitate to get him,” Hotch says, “But for now, I need my two geniuses to put their heads together to solve this case.”
Feeling cowed, you avoid Spencer’s gaze as the team files out of the room you’ve all set up in, instead grabbing a file from the center of the table. You really are being stupid. You should’ve stayed home, now you’re a liability, not to mention a walking biohazard. Fuck, why couldn’t you just think before you—
“I can hear you spiraling from over here.”
You lift your gaze, eyeing Spencer who hasn’t even put down the case file he’s reading.
You look back down. “I wasn’t spiraling.”
“You’re really going to lie to a profiler?”
“We’re both profilers.”
“Yeah, well, you have an obvious tell when you’re worrying about something.”
“I do not!”
You hear the quiet shuffling of papers.
A sigh leaves your lips, and you press the heels of your hands to your eyes. “I’m really sorry, Spe— Reid. I didn’t mean to drag you here with me.”
If he notices your slip up, he doesn’t give any indication of it.
“Who said anything about dragging?”
“I know you’re a germaphobe, and I’m a walking biohazard, and now you’re stuck here going over case files and, and I’m a liability right now—“
“Slow down,” He says, interrupting your slew of word vomit. His voice has dropped an octave, gaining a richer note. You should stop thinking about his voice. “I’m fine. You’re fine. The team is more worried than upset. You’re not the first person to come to work sick. And you won’t be the last.”
“They keep staring at me.”
“Because your current state and manner of behavior are disrupting their pre-conceived notions and set opinions of your character.”
You scrunch your nose. “Don’t get all clinical on me,”
You hear a small huff of laughter across the table. “I’ve come to work far worse than hopped up on cold medicine, believe me. Don’t worry about it. Just focus on working the case.”
Slowly, the itching under your skin settles, and you manage to swallow the lump in your throat. Eventually, you peel your hands away from your face and do what he says.
Hours pass by in a blur of text and you and Spencer occasionally either bouncing ideas off each other or making small breakthroughs. Spencer handles the relay of information because you can’t really go more than three full sentences without hacking up a lung. Seriously, what is cough syrup good for?
Sometime past midday, you start flagging. The words start blending and smushing together and your head gets harder and harder to hold up. You’re jolting yourself back awake every five minutes, forcing your body to just bear through the illness for the sake of productivity. You got yourself into this mess, you deal with the consequences.
You’re just… so tired. Maybe you’ll close your eyes, just for a few minutes. To get energy. And then you can get back to the case.
Just for a few minutes.
“She out?”
“Like a light. Powered through for a lot longer than I expected. But dextromethorphan gets us all in the end.”
A low whistle. “Poor kid. The ‘proving yourself to the team’ phase is rough.”
A hum. “I think it’s more than that.”
A beat passes.
“You got her?”
“Yeah,” Something soft and good smelling, like pine and coffee and something almost rich settles over your shoulders, “Yeah, I got her.”
When you wake, your neck is sore but you’re not cold, which is strange considering you remember falling asleep in a table.
Oh god you fell asleep on the table.
You jackrabbit up in place, knees knocking against the underside of the table. Hissing in pain, you tug the warm thing further around your shoulders which is—
Holy fucking shit it’s Spencer’s sweater.
Said man is nowhere to be found, and the conference/briefing room you’re in is dark. Not only did someone turn the lights off (you’re pretty sure you can guess who) but it’s dark outside. Meaning you didn’t just take a short nap.
You slept the entire day away.
Cold dread seeps into your shoulders. “Oh my god I’m so fired. Oh shit. Fuck, Hotch is going to be so pissed—“
The door opens and you stand, whirling around to face the doorway and then instantly regretting it when spots dance across your vision and your head swims.
You stumble, grabbing the edge of the chair for support and squinting at the figure in the doorway.
“Hotch?”
“Nope,” Spencer’s voice rings out in the room, “Guess again.”
You groan, sinking down into the chair. “Am I fired?”
He snorts. “Seeing as Hotch bet that you’d fall asleep before dark, I’d say no.”
“He bet against me?”
“Actually, everyone else thought you’d only last an hour. He bet for four.”
“How long did you bet for?”
He sets a mug in front of you, steaming tea wafting up and warming your face. “Three hours. You metabolize cough syrup better than I thought.”
You take the mug in your hands, warming your fingers but not actually taking a sip. “Mmm. Told you I’ve done this before.”
“I don’t think that’s the brag you think it is.”
You chuckle, which quickly turns into a cough.
“Drink your tea,” He commands softly from across the table, sleeves pushed up around his elbows and papers spread about him.
You dutifully take a sip, something restless growing calm in the back of your skull.
You eye is forearms, hoping the look-over you’re giving them is subtle. (It probably isn’t, but come on. A button down with the sleeves rolled up while you’re wearing his sweater is practically sinful.)
“Do you… want the lights turned back on? I’m awake now, so.”
He flips over a piece of paper, then scribbles something on a sticky note. “You were sleeping. And you have a headache. I can see just fine.”
“My headache isn’t that bad, really, I’m fi—“
He levels you with a look, and you sink a little lower in your chair. “Do you at least want your sweater back?”
“No. Keep it.”
“Careful, maybe I’ll just keep it forever,” You joke.
“I’d be fine with that.”
What. The. Fuck.
You stand, pushing out the chair with a loud screech. “I’m just gonna— bathroom,” You splutter, your face blazing and stomach doing a gymnastics routine, “I’m gonna use the bathroom. Bye.”
You’re screaming internally the entire way to the bathroom, and once you get there, open-mouthed silent screaming in the privacy of a stall.
Because. He said. He didn’t even look up. He just. And he. Maybe he—
No, no, no. You are not about to entertain that notion. Not again. He was just being nice. That’s all. That’s all.
Collecting yourself takes about five more minutes, and then you’re walking back to the conference/briefing room when you realize you never took the damn sweater off. He watched you scramble out of that room to the bathroom he has to know you weren’t using, with his sweater on.
This is the end for you, then. That’s it. It’s over.
You mentally slap yourself. Get it together. It’s fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
You re-enter the room marginally calmer than you left it. You slide into your seat, sip your tea (that he made you!) and keep working on the case.
You pretend you can’t see him smirking from across the table.
The case doesn’t last too long. The team catches the guy in the act of beating his next victim. Thankfully, you manage to save the poor woman before he finishes his plan, and with being caught red-handed, it’s fairly open and shut. Case closed. Which is great, because you really aren’t sure how many more nights you can suffer through trying to sleep in the hotel bed.
You have this thing, when you’re sick. You can’t sleep anywhere but the couch. Your couch. You figured (apparently foolishly) that it wouldn’t be too bad, since the crux of the issue is that you hate sleeping in your bed when you’re sick, but no. You’d spent every night of the case tossing and turning and coughing yourself out. Your lungs were tired. Your body was tired. You were tired.
Spencer raises an eyebrow at you when you board the jet. “You haven’t been near-overdosing on cough syrup again have you?”
“No,” You grouse, rubbing your face with your hand. “I’m like, not even sick anymore. I just didn’t sleep well.” For several nights in a row.
“Mmm,” He hums, non-committal.
You practically collapse into your usual seat on the jet, hunching in yourself and attempting to make yourself comfortable in the seat.
You blink your eyes open when you feel the seat jostle next to you. “Reid?”
He’s already pulling out a book. “What?”
“This isn’t your seat.”
“We don’t have assigned seats.”
“No, but you always sit over there.”
“And now I’m sitting here.”
You narrow your eyes at him, trying to decide if you want to argue him on the point or not. You decide against it, because arguing will draw attention to the fact that you’re sitting next to each other having this conversation at all.
You settle back into your seat. “Whatever. Hope you’re not a loud page-turner.”
“Is that even a thing?”
You shrug, eyes falling shut again.
After a few minutes, you shiver, unconsciously scooting closer to the warmth of the person next to you, your sleep-addled brain barely processing the fact that it’s Spencer you’re pressing your shoulder into.
He repositions next to you, shoulder jostling you. You grumble, dropping your head to his arm. Now much closer, your nose fills with the smooth, all encompassing smell that is Spencer.
The dull chatter that fills the plane, the warm body next to yours, and, despite your earlier complaints, the quiet, gentle page-turning lull you into an easy sleep.
“Are you drugging her or something? I’ve seen her sleep more this week than I have in her entire time on the team.”
“The only drugging she’s done was voluntary.”
“Her neck is going to be so sore when she wakes up.”
“Sore? Mine would be broken if I did that.”
“Ah, the joys of youth.”
A beat passes. Then another.
“She’s a bit young, don’t you think?”
“Emily don’t start—“
“Just saying, Spence. HR would get a kick out of this.”
“Not like it never happens. We’ve all walked into supply closet B at the wrong time.”
“This isn’t meaningless sex though.”
“…No.”
Silence.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
A deft hand re-adjusts your head to a more comfortable angle. “I will be.”
Landing jolts you into wakefulness and off Spencer’s shoulder. It’s not embarrassing. It’s not. It’s only weird if you make it weird.
When you’re all back at HQ, you pull Hotch aside.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
He nods. “In my office.”
You stalk up the stairs, aware of the eyes following your back. You step into the office, shutting the door behind you and pretending it doesn’t feel like sealing your doom.
He sits, gesturing for you to do so too, but you shake your head.
“I won’t be long. I just wanted to apologize.”
He blinks. “For?”
“I shouldn’t have come in. I was a liability, and it was unprofessional. Next time I’ll act with more discretion.”
Selfish, Your mother’s words echo in your head, your father’s words following suit: Try harder.
He laces his fingers together, resting him on his desk.
“Do you know why I chose you?”
“Because Reid was gone, and you needed a ge— someone smart.”
“Every member of my team is intelligent. That’s not why I chose you.”
He reaches down, opening a desk drawer and pulling out a newspaper clipping.
Your breath hitches when you read the words on it.
“Garcia found it,” He says, scanning the piece of paper. “‘Professor’s Assistant saves college class from school shooter’. You were sixteen.”
You look down at your shoes. “It was the scariest moment of my life. I didn’t— he came in, and I was behind the door getting paper, and he didn’t see me. He… I knew people would die if I didn’t do something. I tackled him. He shot me twice before I managed to kick the gun away. I almost bled out.”
He nods, putting the clipping down. “That’s who I chose. Not the genius. Not the consulting data analyst. Someone who wants to help people.”
He puts the clipping back in his drawer. “I’m not going to write you up for not having a healthy work-life balance. No one in this bureau does, and if they say they do, they’re lying.”
You sigh, rubbing at your face. “Now I look stupid for asking to talk.”
“It’s not an imposition. You’re a member of my team. That makes your wellbeing when you’re on the job my responsibility.”
Unable to form a response to that, you manage to stutter out a thank you, and then flee from his office, collapsing into your chair at your desk with a sigh.
A mug is set in front of you. Different mug, same tea, same hand.
“I think you need to reevaluate your opinion of Hotch and what kind of person you think he is.”
You take the mug with a glare. “I was reasonably concerned.”
“You thought you were going to get written up for coming to work sick?”
“It was a logical conclusion to draw,” You pause, taking a sip of the tea, which is just as good as it was last time. Actually, it’s slightly sweeter, and it soothes your throat more. “And stop profiling me. What’d you put in this?”
“Stop being so easy to profile,” Spencer says, crossing his arms. “Honey. They didn’t have any at the station.”
It’s quiet for a few moments: him staring at you, you pretending he’s not staring and sipping your tea.
“You should go home.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re still sick. Don’t tell me you just can’t wait to write all this paperwork.”
“Maybe I am.”
“No you’re not,” He picks up your jacket from where it’s hanging off the side of your cubicle and plops it in your lap. “Go home. I’ll sick Hotch on you.”
You stand, shrugging your jacket on and pointing an accusing finger at him. “You’re a cruel man.”
“Mhm. Sure. Go home.”
You grumble all the way to the door, but quiet when you look back to see him watching you fondly. He gives you a little two finger wave, and with the sheer amount of heat that rushes to your cheeks, you have no choice but leave immediately.
Stupid genius co-workers.
The next week brings wellness and a lull in cases.
Unfortunately, that also means you don’t have an excuse to put off your paperwork any longer.
Spencer taps the top of it with a slender finger. “Did it get bigger since the last time I saw it?”
He’s hanging around your desk for… some reason. He came to drop off paperwork from your last case, and then stuck around for some unknown purpose.
“No,” You groan, setting your mug of coffee aside and grabbing the first paper off the stack. “Still the same pile I’m procrastinating on.”
“Good luck,” He huffs, finally turning and walking back to his own desk. It’s still in your eyeline, if you crane your neck a little.
You sigh, grabbing your earbuds from your desk, knowing you can’t put the paperwork off any longer. You’re pretty sure Records is going to start sending you death threats soon.
Making your way through the pile is slow going. It’s terrible. The only part of working with the BAU you hate is the paperwork. It’s tedious and never-ending and it always gives you a headache.
The only times you get up are to use the bathroom and get more coffee. JJ kindly tells you that you should probably leave your mug in the break room after your sixth or so trip. Spencer, somehow, appears in the room, and rattles off the symptoms of caffeine overdose.
You leave the mug there.
You continue working well after everyone else leaves. It gets dark, people go home, office lights go off, and while the pile has largely decreased in size, it’s still not finished.
You have to finish. Hotch had made an offhand comment about turning in your paperwork on time and now you have to finish it. To show him you’re not lazy.
You’ve only got a little bit of paperwork left when a hand taps you on your shoulder.
You yank your earbuds out, blinking blearily. “Wha?”
Spencer’s face swims into view. “Come on, time to go home.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Making sure you didn’t fall asleep and forget to go home. They do lock the doors at a certain point. Ask me how I know.”
Your brain is moving like sludge, and it takes you several minutes to process what he says. He continues standing in front of you, patiently waiting for you to respond.
“But… the paperwork.”
“Will be here tomorrow. Come on, up we go.”
You whine as he takes your hands, hauling you to your feet. You attempt to scrub the sleep out of your eyes while messily moving papers about so your desk doesn’t look like a copy machine threw up all over it.
He pushes your jacket into your hands and you shrug it on, grumbling all the way through the doors and out to the parking lot, Spencer in tow. He follows dutifully behind you, and everytime you look back at him to voice your complaints all he does is smile.
“It’s cold.”
“That does tend to happen in winter.”
When you get to your car, he reaches out, tugging on your wrist.
“Hey,” He says, looking down at you, eyes deep pools of some emotion you can’t identify, “Drive safe, okay? It’s icy.”
“My commute isn’t that bad. And I’m,” You break off with a huge yawn. “Not even that tired.”
“That doesn’t inspire much confidence, smarty-pants.”
“Oh, so we’re locked into the smarty-pants thing, huh?”
“Yep.” He says, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and popping the P.
“Well then what am I supposed to call you? Robot-Reid?”
“How about Spencer?”
His words hang in the night air, mingling in the puffs of air from both of your mouths.
“…What rhymes with Spencer?”
“Sensor, denser, dispenser—“
“Dis-Spencer,” You say, smiling to yourself. “I like the sound of that one.”
“You know dis comes from—“
“The latin word dis, and the prefix is used to denote a reversal of absence of an action, expressing negation, or expressing completeness or intensification of an unpleasant or unattractive action.”
He chuckles, smiling down at his shoes. “That’s why you’re the smarty-pants.”
“Oh please. You know all of that and then some.”
He shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not.”
You both stand in the cold of the parking lot, neither willing to leave yet.
Before you can think better of it, you dart forward, throwing your arms around Spencer’s neck and mumbling “Goodnight, Dis-Spencer.”
You step away quickly, awkwardly giving him a small wave before hurrying into your car and driving away.
Smooth.
The next case is… really rough.
Two spree killers, working as a team. A father and a son; the son was groomed into the lower position.
Not anything you haven’t seen before. Trained for. Studied.
No amount of studying could have prepared you for the cold grip of dread that gripped your throat like a vice when you finally confronted the unsubs, and heard eerily familiar words uttered from the father:
“You’re a good for nothing son! I wouldn’t have had to do this if you weren’t such a disappointment of a child! Why couldn’t you have just been more like your siblings?”
The son was killed before anyone could intervene.
Wrapping up the case left you shaken— you’d watched with hollow eyes as the boy’s body was zipped in a body bag.
A hand landing roughly on your shoulder shoves awareness back into your body and you flinch, hard, whirling around with your shoulders raised to meet the oncoming threat.
Only it’s not a threat. It’s Hotch. And he looks concerned.
You force your body to relax. “I’m sorry, I’ll go help question the rest of the family—“
“Are you okay?”
You blink. “What?”
“Are you alright?” He asks again.
“Yeah, I’m, I’m okay. It just… reminded me of something.”
Hotch purses his lips but doesn’t say anything. He looks he’s going to say something, but then decides against it.
“Help Reid get the last of the evidence. Once you two are finished head back to the station. We’ll meet you there.”
You nod, inwardly relieved about not having to deal with the family members. You might start actually crying.
You sidle up to Spencer who’s tagging blood splatters on the carpet. He wordlessly hands you a pair of gloves. He doesn’t ask. You don’t tell.
You work side by side for the better part of two hours, occasionally conversing with the local police or helping the crime scene investigators tag evidence.
If he knows what’s bothering you, he doesn’t say. You wouldn’t have an answer anyway. You’re far too gone in your own head.
You follow Spencer to the break room back at the station, watching him quietly make two mugs of tea. He presses one into your hands with a gentle command to let it cool for a few minutes. The mug is warm in your hands. Spencer is standing next to you, a mug of his own in his hands. Your parents aren’t here. You’re fine.
You chant this mantra in your head while you wait for the rest of the team to come back.
Your parents aren’t here. You’re fine.
Spencer doesn’t ask before sitting next to you on the jet. He just does. He hands you a book, then opens his own.
You don’t read a single page. He must know. Still, he says nothing, just presses a little closer to you when he sees your hands shaking.
The team gives the two of you space when you finally land. You stumble off the jet, trip backpack slung over your shoulder, legs wobbly and breath uneven.
You’re not sure why the case upset you this much. Your parents don’t upset you this much. They just— they make the same kind of comments, and so did that father, except now his son is dead because he killed him—
“Hey,” Hotch approaches you slowly, makes sure you can see him. You hate that he feels the need to do so. “Take tomorrow off. Stay home. Recuperate.”
“I’m fi—“
“We all have tough missions and I would do the same for any agent,” He says, clasping you gently on the shoulder. “Besides. We both know you haven’t been sleeping well.”
Your lips twitch. “Isn’t there a rule against profiling each other?”
“That rule is for all of you. Not me.”
He gives your shoulder one last squeeze before departing.
You manage to haul yourself into HQ and out to the parking lot, cursing as your cold fingers fumble with your keys. Frustrated tears begin to well in your eyes and you press the heels of your hands to your face, sucking in a shuddering breath and begging it all to just stop.
Someone gently pries your hands open, pulling your keys out of your clenched grip. Your shoulders shake as you heave, gasping for cold night air that burns on the way down.
A hand finds its way to the back of your head, pressing it forward into something warm and solid. Another arm wraps around your waist, keeping you close, while the hand on your head drifts down to your neck, squeezing and rubbing intermittently.
“I’m sorry,” You cry, rubbing your face and smearing your tears across your hands, “I don’t know why, it just—“
“You don’t need a reason,” Spencer says, spreading his hand out wide so it covers the entire nape of your neck, “Sometimes it all just gets to you.”
You nod into his chest, lowering your hands from his face to wrap around his torso, clutching it like a lifeline.
“I don’t want to go home tonight,” You whisper, ashamed. “I’ll dream of it. And them. And it’ll be cold and alone—“
“Come home with me,” He says, voice a little breathless while he holds you closer, “Come home with me.”
He says the last part a little desperate.
You sniff. “Okay.”
You hesitantly pull away from the hug, but not before Spencer’s hand moves from your neck to your face, his thumb brushing away the tear tracks on your face. He drops his head down, and you feel the gentlest brush of lips against the skin in between your eyebrows.
“Let’s go home.”
He tugs you along by the hand, helping you into his little old car, tucking your bags into the backseat. He lets the radio play softly while he drives, loud enough to quiet your thoughts a bit but not so loud as to overwhelm you.
He helps you out of the car when you arrive to the apartment building, carrying one of your bags up the stairs- you’d insisted on carrying the rest of your stuff.
He unlocks the apartment door, ushering you into the warmth and comfort that is Spencer’s home.
It’s exactly like you pictured, if not tidier. A bit more modern than you’d imagined. Books are everywhere of course, but so are knick-knacks and trinkets and other little bits of things that are so decidedly Spencer. There’s even a quilt on the couch.
He sets your bag down by the door. “The shower is down that hall to the left. Use whatever products you need to. Do you have any clothes to change into?”
You chew on the inside of your lip. “In my luggage, yeah, but they need to be washed.”
“I can put them in the wash while you shower. In the meantime, you can borrow something of mine.”
You shuffle in place. “I don’t wanna impose—“
“Please let me do this for you.”
The raw, rough edge to his tone makes you pause. You nod in acquiescence.
He takes your hand in his again, tugging you into his bedroom. With one hand, he opens drawers, handing you his smallest pair of sweatpants, and a large, worn, and incredibly soft Caltech sweatshirt.
“I’ll have to cuff these,” You mumble when he hands you the sweatpants, “My legs are half the length of yours.”
“You’ll make it work, I’m sure. Now shoo. I’ll have laundry and food finished when you get out of the shower.”
The bathroom, like the rest of the house, is clean and neat, and to your relief, houses more than just a five-in-one in the shower. Spencer actually owns multiple products for you to choose from and it hits you while you’re lathering the body wash you chose because of how good it smelled that you’re in Spencer’s shower, showering with his body wash, about to put on his clothes.
You’re going to smell like him. His clothes will smell like him. Everywhere in the apartment smells like him.
You decide to blame the near permanent flush on your cheeks on the heat from the shower.
When you exit the shower, fresh and drowning in Spencer’s clothes, he’s standing at his kitchen island, putting the final touches on two bowls of soup.
You almost tear up again. “You made me soup?”
“It’s widely regarded as a comfort food for people who are ill or otherwise sad, and is most commonly made in the wintertime.”
He gives you a little jazz hand, gesturing to the soup as if saying ta-da!
You really do tear up then.
He’s in front of you in an instant, hands poised to help. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Do you not like soup? I can make something else, or we can order in, or—“
You scrub at your face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “You’re just, you’re just really sweet.”
His face softens. “Oh, honey.”
He envelops you in the second hug of the night, except this time you’re crying in earnest now. Your crying about your parents, about the nights you went to bed hungry because your Dad told that you were smart, and to figure something out, but you were too young to work any of the kitchen appliances. You’re crying about your first best friend, who ditched you the second your brother asked her out. You’re crying about all the classes and friendships you missed out on while you were in the hospital with gunshot wounds. You’re crying about how your parents didn’t visit you once. Not even when you were in the ICU.
Spencer holds you through it all, a steady rock against the battering waves crashing in your head.
After a few minutes, you wear yourself out, quieting down to sniffling, your shoulders hitching.
He pulls back, studying your face. “Are you ready to eat some soup now?”
You nod, blinking the final tears out of your eyes. “I got snot on your shirt.”
“That’s why we invented washing machines.”
He keeps up a stream of idle chatter while you eat, explaining all the different major soups in the world and where they came from. It’s a balm against your weary mind, lulls you into peace and safety.
Or maybe that’s just the effect Spencer has on you.
When you finish your food, he takes your bowl, deposits it in the sink, and then takes your hand and leads you to his bedroom.
“I don’t have a guest room, so you can take the bed,” He says, voice soft. “There’s extra blankets in the closet next to the bathroom if you get cold.”
He turns to leave, but a stab of panic slices down your chest, and your hand is reaching out and grabbing his wrist before you can stop yourself.
He pauses, turning back around. “You want me to stay?”
You take your lip between your teeth. “I don’t want to be alone.”
He studies you in the dark of the room— clad in his clothes, face puffy from crying.
The muscles in his jaw work.
“I can’t do this platonically. If we do this—“
You surge up on your toes, grabbing his face and smashing your lips together so quickly your teeth clack.
He goes rigid, then kisses your right back, hands coming up to cup your face, squeeze your neck, smooth over your shoulders.
You pull away first, looking at him through your lashes with hazy eyes. “I can’t do this platonically either.”
He traces the planes of your face with his thumb. “You have no idea how long and how much I’ve wanted to have you right here, just like this.”
“Crying and sad?”
“Dressed in my clothes, in my apartment, in my bed.”
You pause. “You know, tonight, I can’t, I’m not going to have—“
“I’m not interested in sex with you tonight,” He says, reading your mind, “I just want to get that empty look in your eyes gone.”
“Just?”
“Well,” He says, tugging you down onto the bed with him, crawling under the covers and covering you both, “There are other things. A lot of other things, Like this,”
He presses a kiss to your forehead.
“And this,”
He pulls you flush against him under the covers, tucking your head under his chin.
“But mostly this.”
He presses one last kiss to the crown of your head.
“Really?”
“Really.”
It’s quiet for a moment before his voice breaks the silence.
“After I got out, all I wanted was something soft and gentle. Having something, someone soft and lovely to hold was all I looked forward to. And then I came back and I met you, with your polite introductions and the way you care so deeply about so much and I knew. I knew who I wanted to hold.”
“Wow,” You breathe, “Yours sounds so poetic. Mine is much less so.”
“Mmm,” He hums, “And what might that be?”
You press your face against his chest and mumble so quietly you’re wondering if he can ever hear you:
“I just wanted you to choose me. I wanted to be someone’s first choice.”
He’s so quiet after that you think he must not have heard you.
You’re on the verge of sleep when you hear his whisper:
“There couldn’t be anyone else for me.”
જ⁀➴
EDIT: if you want to be tagged in the sequel when it’s posted, please comment “tag me please!” or some variation of THE POST LINKED HERE !! if you comment asking for a tag on this post, you will not be added to the tag list. tag lists are hard to keep track of, so please keep them all in one place !! :)
EDIT TWO: THE SEQUEL IS UP !! It is linked at the top of this post under “next” :)
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tonycries · 1 year ago
Text
Freak On The Cam! - C.K.
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Synopsis. Choso always loved watching you - his pretty lil’ camgírl - from behind the screen. Who knew he’d love being on-screen with you even more?
Pairing. Choso Kamo x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, camgírl! reader, spítting, Choso has rings and piercings, first times + loss of vírginity (Choso’s), oral (fem receiving), exhíbitionism, DOWN BAD Choso, cúmplay, use of “ma’am”, Sukuna is a menace, víbrators, light jealousy (Choso’s), some HEINOUS things, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 6.5k
A/N. Meant to post this last week but hehe here we are. Also I’ve GOT to stop using Unc-kuna so much lmao.
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“Wanna see a movie or do you wanna make one?”
Choso was screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. So badly, in fact, that he might as well just wipe off every trace of himself online and go into hiding - preferably forever.
All because he had been so stupidly careless as to leave his phone unattended for exactly 1 minute and 47 seconds around Sukuna. 
In the time it took Choso to raid the kitchen for his favorite brand of cereal, his uncle had managed to open his Twitter (because “that’s where all the juicy stuff is”), stalk your pretty page at the very top of his last searched, and send a god-awful pick-up line that would probably get him blocked. Or worse.
Damnit, he knew he shouldn’t have made his password Yuji’s birthday.
“Ya should be thankful I didn’t DM her myself, brat.” Sukuna chuckles, not even a shred of regret in his tone, way too amused with how Choso was frantically trying to tackle the phone out of his hands. “What’s the harm in asking? Such a pretty camgirl, n’ you look like you need some good pu-”
“She’s also my classmate.”
“Kinky. Even better.” 
No, not “even better”. God, this must be some kind of cosmic joke, and Choso just wished the Earth would swallow him up whole right now - and maybe his phone along with it too. 
It had taken him almost a whole semester to work up the courage to just sit next to you during your shared lecture. All gorgeous with your bright smiles, and your smart mouth. And Choso was very much content to admire you from afar - and from behind his phone screen, of course.
Never following, never liking. Never tipping you off as one of your hundreds of thousands of fans.
And now, not only had Sukuna revealed that he’d found your secret Twitter account - the one with those sinful little clips of yourself that had Choso opening the app way too much - he’d also propositioned you. Like some creep.  
“Ugh. This is why women hate you.” Still desperately grappling, he spits out more to himself than Sukuna at this point. “B-besides, she’s never even gonna respond any-”
Ping!
And the Itadori household had never been quieter. Never, on a random Saturday during spring break. Never, as the two men crowd the phone, jaws dropped and staring wordlessly at the singular message on screen. You. 
“Let’s make one ;)”
---
“So s’not a stream this time, jus’ a video. Is that okay?”  You hum from your desk, glancing at the man seated on your bed as he hastily nods along with whatever you said. Looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. 
Weird. 
It had only been a few days of back and forth since you’d gotten that first text - the one that you’d honestly thought about blocking like the thousands of others. But there was just something about it that made you stop, something that had you clicking on the profile to delve a little deeper.
It hit you like a semi-truck back then - five of them, in fact - that this was someone in your class. Someone you knew. How the hell did he even find this account? 
You knew Choso as that sweet - albeit slightly gloomy - kid that sat next to you, always quick with his answers and even quicker to look away from your gaze, no matter how hard you tried to spark a conversation. You’d just guessed he was afraid of you or something.
So nothing could’ve prepared you for how ridiculously attractive he looked in that profile picture, all smug grins and dark locks falling effortlessly around his slightly smudged eyeliner. Shirtless, giving just a peak of- oh god, were those nipple piercings?  
Could you really be blamed? You just had to have him.
But, here - it was like he was just itching to run away at the first chance he got. 
“You’re not held at gunpoint, y’know.” you giggle at how he startles at the mere sound of your voice. The mattress dips as you stop fiddling with the camera to sit next to him, thighs flush against his muscled ones. “Are you sure you want-”
“Yes.” 
It seems that both of you were surprised by the abrupt response. Too quick. Choso clears his throat, cheeks flaring as he tries to dredge up some semblance of dignity, he drawls lightly. “I mean- Yes.”
You study him for a moment under the dim lighting, noting the way his hands clench and unclench in his lap, the way his chest rises and falls rapidly as he struggles to control his breathing. He was nervous. Nervous and horny - nothing quite like the suave impression his pick-up line gave off. 
But so irresistible just the same.
“Well…Cho.” you bat your lashes, voice dropping to a seductive whisper - not too heavy, for now at least. “Then why won’t you even look at me?”
Alas, Choso was not a strong man. 
Maybe at your words, maybe at that playful little nickname you gave him, he’s finally raising those dark eyes to look at you. Twinkling with- fear? anticipation? A flicker of something so dangerous as his gaze sweeps greedily over that tight dress you put on just for this occasion. 
Choso tries to ignore how sinfully it hugs all your curves. Or the way it would look a million times better on the floor. 
This was absolute torture. 
And God he thinks he could pass out right then and there as you lean in closer. Too close. The temperature in the room suddenly increasing by about 10 degrees as you purr, tone careful and balanced. “Much better. And now…” 
His breathing becomes heavier, eyes flickering downwards. Once. Twice. 
And you know you’ve got him in the palm of your hand. 
“...all you gotta do is touch me.”
Yeah, if Choso thought he was going to pass out before then he definitely wasn’t ready for those dangerous little words. Ones that have him shaken right to the core - fighting that urge to just take you how he’s imagined all those lonely nights.
“You- huh?” he lets out a shaky laugh, the sound strained as he crosses his legs with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, desperately trying to will away the blood rushing straight to his throbbing cock right now. 
But how could he? Not when you only shift closer, barely even a hair’s breadth between you two - relishing in his strangled gasp as your tits press so enticingly against his arm. Such an adorable pout playing on your lips as you mutter, “Do you not want to?”
And he did. Oh, how he did - has been imagining it for the past five months, in fact. And Choso lets you know, a little twenty times, actually, as the words spill panickedly from his lips. 
“-idiot trying to set me up and I’ve been dreaming of fucking you for so long but I’m just-” Heat rushes to Choso’s cheeks, as he abruptly shuts the fuck up. But it’s too late - the damage has been done.
You give him a wry smile, lips mere inches from his ear. “Just what?”
His breath hitches, muscles rippling so deliciously as he shudders beneath your touch. “I’m a-” Choking out - as if it physically hurts to  admit - “-virgin.”
Oh. 
Now, you might’ve expected many things - but certainly not this. Though, looking at the cute flush on the tips of his ears, all the way down to those big, needy eyes, you don’t mind. Not one bit.
With one, quick glance at the rolling camera - your mouth is moving before your mind. “Do you want me to…do something about it?”
And then it’s like something snapped. 
You don’t know who leans in first, just that Choso’s kissing you. And you’re kissing him - how could you not? 
Because goddammit it was always those pretty lips that you were staring at whenever he was spouting off answers in class. You just never expected he’d be kissing you back with such an infectious desperation. 
No sooner are you thinking about how sweet his lips are before he’s pulling away with a soft sigh, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses down your jaw. Your neck. Back to your lips like he wanted everything and anything.
You gasp licks a long, languid stripe up your neck - maybe at how utterly obscene it felt, maybe at that sharp cold feeling that makes you flinch. Fuck - a tongue piercing? The noise makes Choso’s mouth drop into a quick oh! surging forward to claim your lips again. Addicted. 
Only to be stopped by your hands cupping his face, letting out a pained grunt at how he was so close. Just a hair’s breadth away from your lips.
“Cho~ Open your mouth, baby.” you whisper, hotly. 
And he looked so pretty - dark hair askew, lower lip swollen and quivering with need, brows furrowing because he wanted more of your taste. But he obeys, of course he does, Choso thinks he’ll do anything you asked. And lo and behold, sitting right there in the middle of his tongue was a pretty silver piercing.
You just can’t help but thumb open his mouth further, looking him right in the eyes as you spit in his mouth. Once. Twice. 
“Bet no one else has done this before, huh?” Grinning at how sinfully Choso’s eyes roll to the back of his head at your taste, “Kiss me proper now.”
God, you were so good at throwing away whatever was left of his poor sanity. And it’s all that’s said before his kiss-bitten lips are crashing into yours again. 
“No. No one’s hah- done that before. Only you.” he’s panting into your open mouth, swirling his tongue with yours. “F-fuck only you. Only you only you-”
You barely even realize the way you’re on his lap now, sitting so prettily there that Choso half-deliriously wonders whether he should take a picture. Mind spinning too much with his throbbing erection under your drenched panties, a damp little patch at his fat tip. So hot and heavy already.
“Cho, do you want me to-”
“Yes, ma’am.”
You certainly don’t have to be told twice - especially with that little nickname. Fiddling with his belt, you’re so hazy with want - the need to taste Choso, to see if the rest of him was as sweet as his lips - that you almost miss the look of confusion that flashes across his face.
You bat your lashes at him almost-innocently, “You alright?” And Choso thinks he could cum right there and right now at the sight. If he wasn’t currently battling for his life, that is. 
“Yeah, s’jus’- what I wanted hah- was to…” His hands sneak down, cupping your heated pussy through your drenched panties. “-taste her. ”
“Oh?”
“Are y’gonna teach me how?”
Oh. Fuck.
You know you’re fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.
Only moments later, Choso’s wrestling you back onto the mattress, face-to-face with your sloppy pussy. So mean with the way he was pinning your hips down with one hand, all but ripping your panties off with the other. 
You feel his piercing before his tongue. Both the hot and cold so maddening on your cunt as Choso licks long, lazy stripes up your puffy folds - dragging his hot tongue all the way from your base. Just grazing your swollen clit. 
“Teach me- fuck fuck-” words muffled and slurring together, vibrations going straight to your pussy. “Use me. Use me how you want.”
You’re threading your fingers through his dark locks before you even realize it, grinding your sloppy cunt all over his waiting mouth. “Quirk your tongue like- ngh-” Angling him close enough so he bullies his soft tongue into your tight pussy. Piercing massaging all the right places. “Fuck-”
“Like this?”
“Sh-shit,” you gasp, nodding deliriously. “S’too ngh- good.”
And by God, did you mean it. 
“Yeah? Y’like this?” he’s groaning, wrapping his lips around your swollen clit. “Can feel you clenching around me. Shit shit shit, you love this, huh? So slutty on camera for it?” 
Getting wetter and wetter by the second as his tongue roams for that one-
“Oh! F-fuck, Cho. Right hngh- there. Deeper-”
Ah, found it.
Choso grins as you tug on his soft strands, you can feel it on your throbbing pussy. Pushing your legs all the way till they’re at your tits to hit that little spot each and every time. Again and again. Eyes glassy, torn between devouring that slutty expression on your face and how fucking drenched you were. 
“Shit, baby,” his words are so strained now, like his sanity was dancing away at each flick of his tongue. “You’re drooling everywhere. See? Show the camera now.”
You don’t have to look. Because you can feel it.
Can feel how wet his mouth is, just glistening with slick and saliva. Trailing all the way down his chin - to his wrist - only second to how sloppy your dripping cunt was. It was like he was getting messy on purpose, like a little reminder to himself that shit this was you and he was eating out your pretty cunt to insanity-
“Oh my god, think m’hooked.” Tongue dragging all over your swollen folds, catching on his piercing. “Think your pretty lil’ pussy’s hah- driving me crazy. Ruined me, Fuck-”
And it’s so embarrassing how he’s talking you through it, grinning at every lil’ whine and whimper that leaves your mouth. You were acting all shy right now in a way that makes Choso’s cock twitch so painfully. He barely even notices, though, with the way he was so drunk off your pussy. 
So messy - unable to decide between rolling his tongue over your ravaged clit and dipping into your sloppy hole. Too much. In and out in and-
“Faster.”
He goes faster. 
“H-harder.”
He goes harder.
Anything and everything for you - to keep those pretty moans falling from your lips, walls getting tighter and tighter around his tongue. And Choso might just consider himself a man addicted.
“Can you ngh- cum f’me, baby?” You flinch as he spits out the words into your cunt. Harsh. Fucked-out. Sounding just as delirious and breathless as you. “Cum f’me please. Wan’ to taste y’on my tongue. Please. Fuck- need it so bad. So bad.”
You’re so caught up in Choso’s pussydrunk little babbles that you barely even realize when you’re cumming. Just that you’re letting out a strangled scream of his name, dragging your sloppy pussy all over his mouth. 
And he has never seemed more blissed out. Long gone is that nervous little expression usually on his face around you, Choso looked like he could be suffocated in-between your legs right now and love it. Hope for it, even.
He tells you that, of course. As soon as you’re blinking back your vision, blood still roaring in your ears. Delicate strings of slick snapping where he parts from your quivering cunt, lips swollen and glossed so prettily with your sweet sweet juices. 
“Baby, y’think the video of lesson one came out good?”
Oh. Shit, what have you done?
---
That certainly wasn’t the last time you saw Choso - or the last time you had him in front of a camera, either.
A few weeks later, you found yourself with an entire album for the man - a hidden treasure trove under the simple name of “Cho <3”. Most of the videos favorited, all sorted so tediously in a way that showed you spent an obscene amount of time looking at all the ways he ruined you. 
So filthy on camera that you always wondered whether it was the same person in the sheets and in class, texting Choso for later. Just to confirm. 
But embarrassingly, only some of these videos made their way onto your Twitter account - with Choso’s pretty face largely out of the frame. The two of you hadn’t ventured into streams yet either, opting to hide him away. Because, okay, maybe you were slightly jealous of other people seeing him - but it was really hard not to be when he looked like that.
In spite of all that, you’d still gained a casual hundred thousand more followers since his appearance - ones who always commented on your solo streams asking where your “hot emo bf” was.
Comments you’d pointedly ignore, because, hell, you wished he was here on-stream helping you get off, too. Yet despite the endless flirting and videos, Choso actually hadn’t made it further than actually holding a full conversation with you. And you wanted more. 
For all you know, you might just be one of his many trysts - and it was just for the videos, right? You get the content, he gets the experience? A win-win situation, so why have you never felt more like such a loser?
Such a loser the way you’ve already lost count of the “lessons” but still haven’t gotten to feel him - to fuck him the way you wanted just yet. 
“S’alright if I take this, right, ma’am?” He smirks during one such session, knuckle-deep in your dripping cunt. Dangling your drenched panties like a badge of honor, flimsy and soaked with your sweet sweet juices. “S’alright if I-” And he can’t even finish the sentence. Your jaw drops as Choso raises the thin fabric to his face, breathing in your essence like a man possessed. 
Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-
“You’re so filthy, Cho-” you manage to choke out once you find your voice. Squirming on his bed like such a slut for him. “Was the innocent thing just an act?”
“Nope.” he pops the p, licking lewd little circles on your neck, thumbing open your puffy folds to watch in amazement at the way you glisten and clamp around his fingers. Eyes flickering briefly to the recording phone in his hand. “But we gotta give ‘em a good show, huh?”
Right, you’d forgotten about the camera. But none of that matters anyway because-
Intensity setting 2.
“You’re so mean, too.”
“Am I?” he grins, teeth grazing along your racing pulse. “I think you taught that to me, baby. Shit, lesson 8 it was?”
God, he was addictive.
Choso’s having way too much fun playing around with the intensity setting of the bullet vibrator shoved inside your ravaged cunt. Sending quick, methodical vibrations all along your pulsing clit. In time with the breathless moans leaving your kiss-bitten lips, and it’s all you can to call out for- more? Mercy? Both? 
Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-
“God, you’re so perfect. Shit, so messy f’me.” he groans, and you could tell that the video wasn’t going to be uploaded anyway. Too shaky, focusing in and out of Choso’s fingers. Knuckle-deep and pumping in and out of your filthy hole. Relentless. “Almost makes me wanna show off to an actual audience.”
“Maybe I want to, too.” you muse, shifting at his heated gaze. Dangerously pressing your thumb over those nipple piercings you’ve gotten to know so well lately - as if to support your point. God you wish he’d take off that snug shirt.
Intensity setting 3.
“That so?”
And no matter how many times Choso’s ruined you on camera - and watched the videos over and over afterwards - he always thought they weren’t enough to capture your perfection. 
“Such a slut f’me, baby.” To capture the exact moment in which your wet lips fall into a soft little oh! when he massages your walls in time with the pulsing vibrator. To capture that absolutely sinfully excited little glint in your eyes as he ruts his clothed erection against your pussy. “Y’always this dirty?” Quickly turning into a look of slight panic at the sudden jingle of keys from the front door. 
“Yo, brat. Where the fuck are ya?”
Ah, there he was, the reason that Choso usually locked his bedroom door whenever you were over, even if he was home alone. 
Intensity setting 4.
As the silence continues, so does Choso’s abuse on your cunt. In fact, he only gets more erratic - like he wanted you to cum. Needed you to cum right now, right here in front of Sukuna, footsteps only growing louder. Nearer.
“Cho-” you fight to get out the words. “He’s hah-.”
Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-
“Can’t speak? That’s cute.” he coos, voice way too relaxed for someone whose mind was reeling with the realization that he couldn’t remember if he locked the door this time, and how adorable you sounded. Enough so that it made some raw, primal part of him wanna pull down his pants and fuck you right here right now. Cockblocks and his own virginity be damned. “C’mon now, use your words like a good girl. Tell the camera.”
Cocky bastard.
Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-
“Close!” you yelp, unsure of whether you were talking about yourself or the looming Sukuna. Jaw slack, tears springing into your ears as you look up at Choso. “So close.”
God, you were addictive. And this video was definitely going in both your favorites.
“Mhm,” he hums, movements getting hastier. More desperate. “I know, ma’am.”
Intensity setting 5.
That’s all that it takes for you to cum, letting out a loud strangled moan of Choso’s name. Or, you would’ve - if it hadn’t been for the way he’s shoving two, thick fingers into your mouth.
Silencing you - and in your hazy brain you think that if this was his way of shutting you up, then you really didn’t mind. Because all you could taste was you and the cold, cold metal of his rings. Somewhat intoxicating.
“Shhhhhh.” he’s breathing out, still mindlessly grinding his hips into yours. Though, you realize with a pang that today won’t be the day you get to feel that achingly hard erection straining his pants. “These pretty moans aren’t for him, hm?”
Pressing on the back of your tongue, smirking at the way you nod tearily up at him, moans still muffled. Hell, do you even know how sexy you’re being right now.
“Mhm, all f’me. All for fuckin’ me.”
Knock! Knock! Knock! 
“Why the fuck are you locked up in here on a Saturday night?” Sukuna sounds impatient, but not surprised. Probably imagining all sorts of dorky things his nephew was doing to hole himself up in his room. “Come out n’ get this takeout- what’s left of it anyways.”
And with that, it’s like the magic is over.
Your high only just bating before Choso’s hurriedly ending the recording on a hazy still of your disappointed pout, cursing Sukuna for his impeccable timing. 
Slightly concerned about the door being broken down and someone else seeing you in all your fucked-out glory, he hastily moves to grab the spare cloth by his bedside. Cleaning you up with hushed promises of “sending the recording later”, and “s’alright, he’ll be gone soon.”
Close. You were so close.
A win-win situation - but you’ve never felt like more of a loser.
---
“By God, I never thought he’d get the balls to do it.”
You yelp in surprise at the deep voice from behind you, whirling with a defiant brandish of Choso’s (your?) keys. He’d given them to you a few lessons ago, saying it would make it easier for you to come and go from his apartment as you pleased. Which - to you - felt dangerously like something a boyfriend would say-
But that wasn’t important right now.
What was important was the older man suddenly towering over you right outside Choso’s front door. Big arms crossed over his chest, that leering smirk clashing with his pink hair. “I knew it was odd that brat had a pair of heels by the door.”
Shit. Sukuna.
Ryomen awfully-wingman-his-nephew Sukuna.
“Spill.” At your confused head tilt, he plows on. “Spill the tea. I need new blackmail on my lil’ nephew. How badly did he have to beg you to go out with him?”
You don’t know what was more bizarre - what he was saying or the way he actually pulls out his Notes app as if hanging on to your every word. 
“I-It’s because of you.” you manage to choke out, unsure of what Choso has told his family about you.  Eyes flitting between him and the door right behind you, sounding your very best not to sound just as guilty as you felt. “You’re the reason we have this weird…thing.”
A beat of silence passes. One. Two. 
And just as you’re beginning to wonder whether you’ve broken Choso’s infamous uncle, he throws his head back and laughs. Laughs, right in your face, sounding like he’d just heard the funniest punchline in the world. 
“Oh that’s hilarious.” he exclaims, wiping a mock tear. Cackles dying down as if he was suddenly aware that maybe Choso would hear and walk in on this impromptu interrogation. “Damn, that awful pick-up line is why you started fuckin’? I thought it’d get that sap blocked so he’d stop stalking your account so much.”
“No, we…” you hesitate, mind reeling with what Sukuna just admitted, and how bad it would really be that you’re divulging your sex life to a relative of the guy you’re fucking. Before thinking fuck it, might as well confide in someone. “...we’re just doing stuff for-” putting up air quotes. “-content.”
“Just content?”
“Just content.”
“And you like that fool?”
Your face burns at how glaringly obvious it apparently was, “...Yes.”
This seemingly sets Sukuna off on another wave of uncontrollable laughter. “Ohh, thanks for the blackmail on that emotionally-constipated brat.” Typing away on what you assume to be his Notes, he promptly turns to walk away, “See ya around, doll.”
“Wait!” you call after in confusion, making him stop and raise a brow. “Aren’t you supposed to like- I don’t know, give me advice for your nephew or something - like a good uncle?”
Scoffing, “Who said I was a good uncle?” He leans in ever-so-slightly, “Jus’ rock his world on camera or somethin’ n’ ask him out right in the middle.” Satisfied with being enough of a decent samaritan for today, he walks back with a half-wave, “He’d listen to whatever you say anyway.”
Oh. Is that so?
And Sukuna probably meant it as some joke. Something to tease the both of you with - but it’s something that sets the gears going off inside your head. Something that had you ignoring Sukuna’s slightly panicked, “Jus’ not too soon, I needa bully him with this first.”
---
You didn’t listen to Sukuna’s little plea, of course. Because only a few days later you’d steeled yourself to finally send that one text you knew would change your relationship with Choso. For the good, hopefully. 
You: 9pm my place. Get ready, cuz this time we’re gonna be live ;)
Cho <3: :0 
And with that, you’d thrown your phone on the bed, jittery about later tonight. Browsing through your wardrobe for that one set of barely-there lingerie in his favorite shade of pink. Hey, you could never be too prepared, right?
Nothing could’ve prepared Choso for this moment - absolutely nothing at all. 
He might’ve just died and gone to heaven the very moment he read that dangerous text - finally inviting him to join one of your streams. The ones that he’d always watch in the safety of his bedroom, lights dimmed, pants bunched around his ankles. 
Cock just achingly hard in his fist while he wished he was with you behind the camera. Getting you off so much better than any sextoy would. Just forcing those pretty moans from your lips - and everyone else could see that. Wish it was them ruining you instead. 
Alas, it was only a dirty little fantasy. 
Until now, that is.
slvt4u: Holy shit boyfriend reveal, about time.
uniwhore: THIS is the hottie from Twitter????? 
itsgenslut: idfc just fuck
“Nervous?” you smirk, looking down at the man sprawled so prettily on your bed. “You look just as close to an aneurysm as you were the first time. Though-” snaking your hand down, “-this is still the same as ever.”
You chuckle at the way Choso catches your lips with his, more to shut up those pathetic little moans threatening to escape him than anything. Because every glance at you in that sinful little pink bra gave Choso a mini heart attack. 
“B-baby-” he gasps, grinding his clothed erection against your palms. “I wan- hah-”
“Mhm?”
And God how you’ve ruined Choso - run him so utterly dry of his sanity.
Because he’s angling your head down, piercing cold against your tongue. “Spit.”
It was like that first time had gotten him addicted. So you do - right into his waiting mouth. Jaw dropping at the way he tips his head back, back, back to let it slide so obscenely down his throat. Moaning at just a taste of you, “God, I need to f-fucking ruin you.”
And if there’s anything you’ve learned after all these months with Choso, it’s that anything he says - he does.
The words have barely left his mouth before he’s pulling your bra off, ripping your panties easily off your hips. Each and every little regret about what a shame it was thrown out the window at the first sight of your pretty pussy. 
It never gets old - and Choso could never get enough of the sinful sight - your cunt so sloppy and ready for him already. 
“Cho-” you whine as ringed fingertips coming up to circle your sloppy entrance. Cold. Stretching you to insanity. “S-stop teasing.”
“Yes, ma’am. But first-” shifting you around ever-so-slightly on top of him. “Gotta show off how wet y’are f’me.”
uniwhore: did he just call her “ma’am”?? Me when??
roses101: idk who i wanna be they’re both so fucking hot ugh
“Fuck, y’look so sexy from this angle. Wonder if the camera thinks so too?”
Your face slightly burns at how he was seemingly taking over your own stream. Smug bastard, you think, glancing down at Choso, red-faced, hair untied, wearing a sly grin as his eyes slide over the flurry of comments. But two can play that game. 
“Cho~” fumbling with the hem of his underwear, “You’ve been holding out on me.”
A gasp leaves you involuntarily as you tug down Choso’s boxers just enough for his throbbing cock to spring free, hitting his sculpted abdomen. Blushed your favorite shade of pink - to match your bra - so so angry and soaked in precum. 
He was so intimidatingly long - longer than any of those toys you usually brought on camera. Thick enough that it had you wondering, shit, would you even be able to take it?
“S’this a-alright?” and for all his previous confidence, Choso sounded self-conscious. Peeking at you through his long lashes.
You grin, pumping a hand up and down his swollen cock, letting his precum drip down your wrist. “S’perfect.”
“God- fuck, baby. Oh-” Choso lets out breathless little profanities as you straddle his waist, dragging his weeping tip down your swollen folds. So fucking filthy as you sink down in by fucking in. Slowly. “Too- much-”
Apparently too slow because no sooner have you just taken in his fat tip, squeezing and clenching around him, that Choso’s flipping the both of you over. 
“M’sorry.” he breathes into your mouth as your back hits the mattress. “M’sorry m’sorry, fuck- just can’t-” fingers immediately drawing frenzied little circles on your pulsing clit to take your mind off the dizzying stretch as he bullies his massive cock into your snug cunt. “Can’t wait can’t wait- waited too fucking long. Want this so badly-”
You felt too good. Too perfect around him. 
“Ah! Hngh- Cho, oh my god. Too- ngh-” you moan, as he starts grinding in shallow, mindless little movements just to fit himself inside. Pushing and pushing, you wondered if he even realized what he was doing.
Sounding like his sanity was dwindling away with each little thrust, “S’too big? You can take it. Fuck fuck fuck please. Need this.” Pressing all the way into your lungs. “How do you wan’ it- how do you wan’ me?”
Honestly, Choso didn’t even need to ask, because he just bottoms out - heavy balls smacking against your ass, cock swollen and throbbing inside you - that you think that you just wanted him to ruin you. 
“R-ruin?” his voice breaks as he repeats - more to himself than you. Oh, shit had you said that out loud? You’re speechless as Choso throws your legs over his shoulder, dragging his swollen lips lazily across your ankle. “Yes ma’am.”
Oh. You might as well have just signed off your will. 
Because then he’s fucking into your sloppy cunt. Unforgiving. A man starved because he was. Jagged, quick thrusts, splitting you apart deeper and deeper on his rock-hard cock. 
“Fuck- fuck fuck fuck-” he pants into your open mouth, finding it so fucking difficult to find any rhythm when your tight cunt was milking him so good. “You feel so good. So messy. Ya love it like this, huh? Being hngh- watched?”
“Hngh-” you buck wildly into his body, reaching up to play coyly with his nipple piercings. Tugging and pulling lightly. “Feels too good- are- ah- are ya sure this is your first time?”
Honestly, it was a wonder Choso didn’t cum right then and there. 
Tojisslvt: need someone to fuck me like this the first time
22sabi: Typing with one hand is so hard.
DaStrongest: i could fuck her so much better than than inexperienced loser
Choso throws his head back in a cruel little laugh at that last comment, something that makes you tingle all the way from your burning cheeks to your stuffed cunt. Clamping down deliciously on Choso’s unforgiving cock in a way that makes his hips and fingers stutter. 
“Ya think you could fuck her better?” it takes you a second to realize he was talking to the camera and not you. Thrusts getting sloppier, getting familiar. “I’m the one that got her so messy like this.” Purposeful. Calculated. Like he was aiming for that one-
“Fuck!” you scream as he hits that magic spot. Once. And then over and over like a man possessed. Just so utterly ruining you the way you knew he could. “Cho oh my god- I can’t hah- ngh-”
The cold metal of Choso’s rings dig into your cheek softly as he turns you head to face him. God, this was the stuff of his wildest dreams.
You - teary eyed and looking up at him like such a slut. Pussy getting wetter - tighter - as he teases you in front of the camera. Torn between running away from his relentless cock and bucking up for more more more-
 “Fuck no no no- Keep your legs open, baby. Don’t hah- run away from me.” his fingers dig into your hips, pulling you impossibly closer. “Don’t- need this. Need this so ba- shit.” 
And he sounded so genuinely worried he’d lose the feeling of your heady cunt. Fingers bruising on your hips as he pulls you closer. Like he was trying to fuck out any and every shred of shyness out of your body. 
slvt4u: Always the quiet ones.
DaStrongest: heh, fuck off. i’d make her cum so much harder.
Now, Choso was fucking you like he had a point to prove, and it was probably the only reason he hadn’t passed out from how good your pussy felt wrapped around him. 
Both of you were barely-lucid at this point - and he was out of control now.
Pussy drunk thoughts unfiltered, “No one’s ever d-done this- got me hah- feeling like this.” And you had the distinct feeling he just beat you to your original goal, letting out sweet little babbles into your open mouth - though his hips were anything but. 
So hard that you were sure the creases of your sheets would leave marks for tomorrow - along with his balls on your ass, your ankles on his shoulders, lips searing against yours. It was like he wanted to prove something - to prove he was good enough to- the viewers? To you? 
Knowing your body well enough to hit that one spot over and over until you were sobbing. Fingers erratic on your clit. 
“Cho-” you squeal, tears springing to your eyes as he only gets sloppier. “I-I’m gonna-”
“Cum?” he breathes, as if he couldn’t believe it. And fuck if you weren’t the gates of heaven spread wide open for him then he didn’t know what was. “Fucking cum. Please please- hah- f’me. Cum on m’cock n’ make them jealous. F’me- Like you’re mine.”
You barely even realize when you are. Jaw slack, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you see stars behind your eyes, blood roaring in your ears. God, he was gonna have to go home and rewatch this stream all over again. 
“Ngh- m’cumming m’cumming oh-”
Not even realizing the way you’re dragging your nails down Choso’s sculpted back. Marking up his milky skin - and he lets you. 
Loved it in fact- the way he loved you. 
Your eyes go wide, and Choso knows he’s fucked up. Realizing with a jolt that words were tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. But it’s the way you squeeze him tighter- giving him such a gorgeous little fucked-out smile that sends him over the edge.
Sharp canines digging into the crook of your neck like he wanted to break skin, holding himself back from breaking you while he cums and cums so hard it hurt. Over and over-
“Love you- love you love you love you-” he’s muttering into the skin, unbarred. “Since I first saw hah- you. Wanted this more than fuck fuck- air that I breathe.”
His seed was oozing out of you now, painting your ravaged pussy white, dribbling down your legs.  So fucking full and debauched. Thick, hot globs that were sure to stain those overpriced new sheets. But did Choso care for the mess? Not at all. 
Because you were holding him so impossibly tight, pushing away the strands of hair sticking to his forehead. Whispering little praises as he fucks you through his first time. Close. Warm. Everything he ever dreamed of.
“S’everything I ever dreamed of, too, Cho.”
And he knows he’s won. 
urfavslvt: Proudest nut. Want more.
uniwhore: does this mean couples content??? Pls say yes plsplspls
DaStrongest: invite me next time <3
“Thought you were embarrassed.” he licks soothingly over the bite. Voice shot, piercing smooth against his tongue. Embarrassing little confessions leaving him with each spark of electricity running through his veins. “Thought you didn’t stream w’me cuz of that- but shit. Dreamed of this f’so long. So long-”
Oh?
“Hey, Cho.” your voice rings through his hazy mind. Just enough for Choso to raise his head and meet your intoxicating, sultry gaze. Giving a sly, sidelong glance at the still-blinking camera. 
“Mhm?”
“Wanna film a week’s worth of ‘movies’ in advance?”
---
Sukuna (do not answer): Oi shitty nephew, where r u Jin made me come over with (half) leftovers.
You: Sorry, not home. At the movies rn.
Sukuna (do not answer): When tf do u go to movies?? 
You: Since now, on a date. You probably can’t relate.
Sukuna (do not answer): Stfu n’ stop lying, a date with who? Ur body pillow?? Not like u had the balls to ask out that pretty lil’ camgirl anyway.
Haha
Right? 
You: *girlfriend
Sukuna (do not answer): Huh?
You: Girlfriend.
Sukuna (do not answer): THE FUCKIN’ PICK-UP LINE WORKED??
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A/N. This came out a LOT longer than expected. 
Plagiarism not authorized.
8K notes · View notes
blueberrykefir · 2 months ago
Text
Save a Horse, Ride a...
Joel Miller x f!reader 18+
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Summary: You need to learn to ride a horse. Joel Miller is your grumpy instructor. Joel teaches you more than just the basics... One lesson you'll never forget.
Content Warning: Smut, MDI! Joel Miller basically talks you through it. No horses were harmed OR involved in the making of this. Vaginal Fingering. Teasing. Dirty talk. Praising, lots of it. Use of nickname, Cowgirl. Rough manhandling. Post outbreak.
Word Count: 5k
You were finally settling into Jackson. Earning your keep, proving yourself useful. Short patrols. Food runs. Assisting on the perimeter. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was something.
But lately it hadn’t felt like enough. You could do more. Longer patrols, further routes, the kind of assignments that actually made a difference.
There was just one problem. In order to do that, you had to learn to ride a horse.
Which brought you here, grumbling under your breath as you headed for the stables to meet some guy named Jonathan who was supposed to show you the ropes. 
What you weren’t expecting was him.
Joel Miller stood at the front end of the barn, leaning against the wooden fence with sleeves rolled, forearms dusted with dirt, and a glare like he’d rather be anywhere else. Your footsteps faltered.
At a community event, you tried to introduce yourself once. All polite smiles and an outstretched hand. He looked at you head to toe like you were nothing more than a bug under his boot, muttered something gruff and walked off.
The memory still made your jaw clench. 
You didn’t mean to gasp, but you did. Just a little. You hoped he didn’t hear.
He did.
He looked up. Slowly. Dark eyes sharp, like he was weighing how much patience he had to spare today—and the answer was definitely none. “Somethin’ wrong?”
You shook your head, too fast. “No, I just—thought I was meeting Jonathan.”
His stormy eyes flicked up, pinning you in place like you were an inconvenience. “Yeah, well. Johnny dislocated his shoulder.” He said with a tone dry as dust. “Guess that makes me your lucky replacement.”
Nerves prickled beneath your skin. You shoved your hands into your back pockets, feigning nonchalance. 
You swallowed hard, pulse doing way too much for this early in the morning. “Great,” you said, voice a little too chipper to be sincere. “Looking forward to it.”
He gave you a once-over, unimpressed. “Don’t get all excited at once.”
You could barely hold yourself back from rolling your eyes. So much for hoping he was just having a bad day when you met. Nope. This was just him. Rude, gruff, and annoyingly handsome. 
But you didn’t survive all this time, due to your lack of persistence. So you try to make conversation.
“So… I didn't know you taught lessons.” You rocked back n’ forth on your heels.
“I don’t.” He pushed off the fence, walking past you without a glance. “Let's go.” 
Well. That was short-lived.
You trailed behind him, glancing around at the empty stalls. Hooks lined the walls, holding faded ropes and well loved saddles. “Where are the horses?”
That's when he stopped and turned his head. Slowly. Like you’d just asked if horses came in blue.
“Horses?” His mouth twitched, just barely. “We’re not doing horses today.”
Your brows furrowed. “Then… What are we doing?”
He nodded towards the far end of the stables, where a beat-up wooden barrel sat with a brown leather saddle strapped to it. You blinked at it, then back at him.
“Really?” 
“You’re gonna learn how to stay on before I waste a real animal's time.” His answer was flat, final.
You glared at him, “I wouldn’t be a waste of time.”
He raised a brow, not even trying to hide the way his gaze dragged over you, cool and assessing. “Then go on, Cowgirl. Let’s see what we're workin’ with.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but he was already walking off towards the barrel, not bothering to check if you were following.
Clenching your fists, you rolled your eyes and muttered a curse. You trailed after him, boots crunching on the packed dirt and hay.
The air inside the barn was warm and smelled of leather and horses and something faintly masculine. Sun, sweat, and sawdust. 
Golden rays spilled through the slats of the barn walls, bathing everything in a warm light, dust in the air catching it like glitter. For a moment, it almost felt peaceful. 
Until Joel slapped the top of the saddle with a sharp thwack. “Alright. Hop on.”
You scoffed, then shot him an exaggerated smile, “Are you always this charming, or just with me?” 
"Only you." He leaned one arm on a post, that mouth twitching again, "Now stop stalling.”
“I'm not stalling,” You mumbled under your breath, clearly stalling. You eyed the saddle just now realizing how high the barrel sat. “You put this together?”
Joel crossed his arms, the material of his shirt pulling tight across his chest. “Been sittin’ like that for months.”
You squinted at it. “You realize horses are taller than this, right?” 
He shrugged, lazy. “Then consider this a warm up.”
You stepped closer to the barrel with more confidence than you actually felt. “I’ve climbed fences taller than this.” 
“Then this should be easy.” Joel tilted his head, just enough to unnerve you. His eyes taking you in from boots to brow, like he was waiting to see you fail.  
It should have been easy. But when you reached for the saddle horn and tried to hoist yourself up, your boot slipped against some loose hay, and you stumbled back with a muttered curse.
Behind you, Joel didn’t laugh. He didn’t need to. His silence said everything.
“Don’t” You warned, pointing a finger at him without looking back. 
“Didn’t say a word, Cowgirl.”
“You were thinking it.”
That damn nickname again. It made your cheeks burn hotter than the sun outside.
It was discouraging to say the least. There was not much you couldn't do. So having a wooden barrel be your demise was frustrating.
You squared your shoulders, let out a sharp breath and tried again, this time determined to prove him wrong. This time you braced your foot against the barrel’s edge, gripping the saddle horn with both hands.
With a grunt that was more pride than grace, you hauled yourself up, swinging a leg over with questionable coordination.
The barrel wobbled beneath you as you stuck your landing. Sort of.
You exhaled through your nose, victorious. “See? Told you I could do it.” You looked over your shoulder at Joel.
Stepping away from the post, he gave you a slow look, annoyingly unreadable, “Well, let's hope any horse you ride doesn't mind someone climbin’ all over ‘em like that.” 
Irritation flared up in your chest, “I'm up. That's all that matters.”
“Sure.” He stepped closer, boots crunching dirt and scattered hay. “Now let's see if you can stay up.”
And then, without warning, his hands were on you. One at the small of your back, the other nudging your shoulder blade with practiced pressure. You inhaled sharply, a gasp slipped out before you could stop it.
“Back straight.” His rough hands adjusted your posture, burning through your shirt like he’d branded you, “Good, just like that.”
His hands stayed exactly where they were, firm. Steady. Hot. You were too aware of every inch of contact, your heart thudding like it wanted to climb right into his palms. 
“Shoulders back. Don’t slouch.” 
You swallowed hard, feeling stubborn, “I wasn’t slouching.”
“You were.” He said simply, breath ghosting close to your ear. “But that's alright. We’ll break the habit.”
Your cheeks flushed, heat curling in your stomach. You tighten every muscle to keep your spine straight, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of correcting you again. But then he shoved, just enough to tilt your balance.
You gasped, grabbing the saddle horn to steady yourself.
Joel clicked his tongue. “Keep your balance, Cowgirl. If you fall, I ain’t catchin’ you.”
Then his hands moved to yours, guiding your grip on the reins. Rough hands against softer skin. Calloused, capable fingers curling around yours. 
You shouldn’t have wondered how those hands might feel somewhere else. But you did. 
“Now grab the pommel tighter–Jesus, not that tight.” He gritted out. “I feel bad for whatever poor fella your seein’.”
You loosened your grip, cheeks blushed from the insult. “No ones complained, yet.”
That made something flicker in his eyes. His gaze dropped to where your hands wrapped around the horn of the saddle. His next breath came slow. Measured. Like he was biting down on whatever response nearly escaped.
“Sit straighter.” He said at last, voice rougher now. “You’re leanin’ like you're about to fall asleep up there.”
You blinked, “Well maybe if–”
“Leg’s snug,” He cut in, voice rough, “Right now you’d bounce clean off the second that horse moved.”
Then you felt him behind you again. His breath tickled your neck just before his hands slid down, fingers settling at the tops of your thighs.“Keep ‘em like this–”  He pulled your knees inward, guiding them against the barrel. “Yeah, just like that. Feel the pressure of the saddle?”
You nodded, barely breathing, feeling more than just the saddle. You felt him. Felt the way his voice, gravel thick with heat, settled beneath your skin.
“I asked you a question.” His tone was dark and impatient.
“Yes.” You nodded, throat dry, “I feel it.”
He adjusted your legs a little further, pressing them in just enough, thumbs brushing the inside of your knees, “Good, right there.”
You turned to face him. The height of the barrel leveled your gaze with his. Up close you could see it all. The silver dusting his beard, the rough lines of his face, and the tightness in his jaw. Like he was holding back more than just words.
Joel stepped in front of you now, closer than necessary. You tensed when his hands settled on your hips. His fingers pressed into the curve of your body, firm and unbothered by boundaries.
“You’re leanin’ too far forward.” He said, like it was a fact. 
No warning. No gentleness. He pushed, not hard, but unyielding. His strong grip coaxed your torso into place. The rough handling, controlled and confident, sparked heat low in your belly. 
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from making a sound.
“Atta girl,” he said, voice low and approving. “Right there. You feel that?” 
“Yes,” You whispered, barely trusting yourself to speak. With Joel this close, there was nowhere to look but at him. You noticed the small things, like the soft dip at the center of his lip. Or the way his lower lip is just a little fuller. 
“Good.” He murmured, eyes locked on yours. “Now stop starin’ at me like that.”
“I’m not.” You shot back, too quick, too breathy. 
“Yeah?” He stared at you like he could read every thought you didn’t want to have. A smirk tugged at his lips, “Could’ve fooled me.” 
Heat climbed up your neck like a guilty confession. “What’s next?” You asked, desperate for a subject that wasn’t him. 
Then he stepped back, arms crossed like nothing happened. Like you weren't threatening to melt, from a single touch. He sized you up like a piece of wood. His eyebrows furrowed as he analyzed your form. 
You stiffened under the scrutiny, spine already straight, legs tight around the barrel. His brow furrowed like something still wasn’t right. 
Noticing his scowl you said, “Alright, Cowboy.” You tacked on the nickname with just enough venom to cover the nerves. “What's wrong with my form now?”
“You’re tense." He said, flatly, "That’s not gonna work for ridin’... or much else.”
You scoffed, trying to ignore the way ‘much else’ stuck to your chest like a splinter. “Of course I am.” 
Slowly, Joel approached, like a predator closing in on its prey. His hands returned to your hips like they belonged there. There was nothing hesitant about the way he touched you. Those hands knew what they were doing. 
Rough and confident, his calloused fingers dug into the softness of your sides, molding your body the way he wanted. Every touch seemed to have a purpose, but it also felt like he was pushing you further, into something much more than a simple lesson.
“Right here.” He guided your hips into the saddle, fingers burning through your denim. “Gotta move with the horse, not against it.” 
Your body trembled slightly, as his palms pushed you into the seat, each press of his hands like a command, a reminder that he was in control.
“Kinda hard to move with the horse when this one doesn’t move at all.” Your breathless voice betrayed you.
“Wanna get thrown on your ass? ‘Cause if you can’t sit on a barrel, don't expect to survive a buckin’ saddle.”
The words come out, fast and sharp, before you can stop them. “Maybe I don’t mind getting thrown around a little.”
That made him stop. A flicker of something unreadable crossed his face.
“Yeah?” His voice dropped dangerously, “You say that like you know what it means.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about me,” You snapped.
He leaned in just enough, like he was whispering a secret. “I know you can’t stop starin’ at my mouth when I talk.”
A breath passed between you. 
His voice was deliberate, like he had you all figured out. “Know you get all flustered when I so much as touch your back. Or adjust your hips." 
“And I hear those sweet little sounds you make," he added, voice dipped in sin, "every time I get close.”
His eyes were dark… dangerous, like he was daring you to deny.
You returned his stare with defiance, even as heat stirred low in your belly, traitorous and slow. “Don’t flatter yourself, Joel.” 
“I don’t have to,” he said, the smirk returning. “You’re doin’ a real good job of that yourself.” 
“Maybe I am,” Your eyes flicked down to his hands still gripping your hips, a little too tightly for a man claiming innocence. His thumbs pressed in just enough to remind you they were still there. “But you’re the one still touching me.”
His thumbs dragged just a little higher, right at the curve where denim met skin. Instruction was long gone. This was something else.
Joel’s voice dropped to a murmur. “Do you want me to stop?”
You tilted your head, heard pounding against your ribcage, “I was just waiting to see what else you could teach me.”
With a low growl, he dragged you forward on the barrel just an inch, just enough to send heat straight to your core. Your breath hitched and you held back a whimper.
“You’re already breathin’ heavy–” His hands tightened on your hips, possessive. “–And I ain’t even touched you proper yet.” 
He stepped closer, the air between you taut like a pulled thread. “Think you’re ready for this lesson?” 
“I learn fast,” You breathed out, voice tight with anticipation.
His gaze dropped to your mouth. Then slow and wicked, a carnal smile curled into place, dangerous like a drawn weapon. He leaned in, close enough that his breath ghosted across your lips. If you moved even an inch, you’d taste him.
Without thinking, you tilted your chin to close the space, but he pulled back just enough, the barest retreat. 
“So impatient,” He tsked, “A good rider learns control.” 
“I'm not a good rider yet though, am I?”
“No, I guess you're not,” His voice was rough with unspent desire. “But we’ll fix that.” 
“How?” The words came out so soft, they were barely audible.
Your hands tighten on the pommel like a lifeline, trembling with the effort not to close the distance yourself.
Then finally, he gave in. 
With a growl, his lips came down on yours. Hot. Sharp. Like a punishment. 
He dominated the kiss, with the same rough authority he used adjusting your posture. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t polite. It was primal.
You whimpered, arching into him as he deepened it. You open your mouth for his tongue. He licks at your lips, before sliding it into his mouth to meet yours.
His hands gripped your hips again like they were his to guide. “There we go,” His voice growled low against your lips, wrecked and approving. “That’s it. Move with it.”
And you did. You couldn’t help it. You moved with him before you even realized, rolling your hips forward and backward with a slow grind. Your heart begins to beat between your thighs quickly becoming an incessant throbbing, that becomes more and more intense with every movement.
“Good girl.” He whispers against your lips.
The words, thick with praise, felt like heat, poured straight into your veins. 
You shuddered, body rolling under his guidance, shamefully eager to please. Not because you wanted to get the saddle right anymore. No, it was because he was the one telling you how.
“Just like that.” His thumbs dug in, guiding another rough grind against the saddle.  “Now we're gettin’ somewhere.” 
The friction of your denim against the old saddle, sent waves of pleasure low in your belly. Your fingers tighten on the saddle horn, clinging on to something solid as everything else threatened to unravel.
Then his calloused hands left your hips, sliding up your waist, his thumbs barely brushing the underside of your breasts. Your hips struggled to keep moving in their absence. You were too focused on the way he tasted, the sounds he made, the feel of him.
He pulled back, lips swollen, “Did I say stop?” He snapped, “You keep going, till I say so. You understand?”
You nodded your head, frantic. But he wasn’t having that.
“Use your words, Cowgirl,” He warned. “Say it.” 
“Yes,” You breathed out. “I understand.”
You don’t know what you craved more. The need for release or the praise you’d get for earning it. 
Either way, you obeyed, riding harder, hips snapping forward. You were chasing the rhythm he carved into you. You let out a soft moan as friction met the saddle just right. A slow burn sparked low and deep.
“Knew you’d be a fast learner.” He growled, satisfied. "Look at you, movin’ just like I want.”
One palm slid up your spine, igniting every nerve on its path up. His fingers threaded into the back of your hair. He tugged your head back, firm and commanding, exposing your throat. 
“You gonna take what I give you?” His grip tightened.
“Yes.” You cried out, the word somewhere between a plea and a promise.
Joel’s fingers pulled your hair. 
The sharp edge of pain only made the pleasure coil tighter and deeper.
His mouth was hot on your neck now, velvety tongue painting your skin. His teeth scraped just enough to make your hips stutter, movements slowing.
“Keep going,” he demanded against your throat, showing you no sympathy.
You headed his command and ground your hips down. His other hand came up rough and demanding, gripping your jaw forcing you to face him. It was clear who was in control.
Your lips crashed together again, unforgiving. It was all raw hunger and heat.
Desperation spilled into the kiss, mess and unrestrained, like you both had been starving for years and just now found something worth sinking your teeth into.
He pulled your lower lip between his and gave it a little tug. He released your jaw, sliding his hand down your throat, fingers dragging possessively along your skin, claiming every inch.
Joel’s touch didn’t stop.
It drifted lower, over your collarbones, across the line of your chest, fingers grazing over the softest parts of you with just enough pressure to make your breath hitch.
Your nipples ached, hard and sensitive, straining through the material of your shirt.
You arched your back. Chest brushing his, aching for more. The space between you felt unbearable, like your skin was screaming for contact. He could feel it. You knew he could feel it.
He chuckled low against your throat, the sound dark and indulgent. “That desperate, huh Cowgirl?”
There was no room left for shame.
Especially when his thumb grazed over your nipple and your whole body jolted like you’d been struck. He hadn’t even undressed you. Not a single piece of clothing had been removed… yet you were still unraveling for him. 
You became a panting mess, as he thumbed and pinched your nipple, like you were his to toy with. Your thighs tightened around the saddle with every spark of pleasure.
“You want more?” he asked.
You should've said no. Should've reminded him this was supposed to be a riding lesson. Or that you were outside and anyone could walk by. But his thumb was still teasing circles over your nipple, and you couldn't focus on anything other than his hands.
"Yes," You breathed out.
Joel's eyes darkened, pupils swallowing the brown. “Then use your words.”
For someone who barely uttered a word to you before, he sure has a lot to say now. 
“I want more,” It took great effort to speak. The throbbing between your legs was becoming painful. "I want you to touch me like you mean it."
A low sound left his throat, half-grow, half-moan. "You sure?" With tortuous speed, his palm slid down, hot and heavy, landing at the top of your jeans. His fingers slipped just barely under the denim. "'Cause once I start, I ain't gonna stop 'till your beggin'."
Your breath shuddered as your hips rocked slowly. "Then don't stop."
A sound of approval left his throat. Half-growl, half-moan. His mouth was on yours again. The kiss turned messy fast. Teeth clashed. Tongues tangled.
One of his hands slid down between your thighs, pressing against the seam of your jeans, right where the ache had started building. His palm ground slow and hard between your thighs.
You gasped into his mouth, grinding on his hand, hips moving like he showed you.
"That's it." He muttered. "All worked up and we barely started."
A needy whimper left your lips, from the friction. But it wasn’t enough to satisfy the ache he’d built inside of you. You needed more. You needed him.
But Joel… Joel was in no rush.
His hand dragged up and teased the edge of your underwear, warm fingers curling at the edge.
He didn’t move lower. Not yet. He just watched you from under dark lashes, expression wild. Hungry.
“Joel.” You said his name like it hurt. Like just needing him was its own kind of agony. 
“Shhh,” he hushed, almost tender. His fingers slipped past that threshold, dipping into your underwear, slow and steady like he had all the time in the goddamn world. “You’re okay. I got you.”
You were soaked, aching with want. Completely wrecked and he hadn’t even fucked you yet. The sound he made when he realized it was dark, filthy, and far too pleased. The rough noise of approval sent a wave of heat pulsing through your core.
“Christ. So fuckin’ wet.” 
The pads of his fingers circled your clit. Soft at first, coaxing. You shuddered, every nerve sparked under his touch, hips twitching without permission.
You let go of the pommel and tried to muffle your desperate cries, but the hand in your hair was quick to grab your wrist. 
“No.” He growled. “Let me hear how pretty you sound when you ride my fingers.” 
A needy whimper was all you could muster in response.
As if rewarding you, his fingers sank into your slick heat. One, then two. You clenched around him, hips bucking at the sudden stretch. Your whole body bowed forward, forehead dropping to the saddle as a ragged moan slipped from your lips.
“Ngh–” You cried out pathetically, as his fingers thrust deep inside of you. His thumb found your clit with cruel precision, brushing in slow, maddening circles. The only thing you could do was helplessly ride his fingers closer to euphoria. 
“Doin’ so good for me,” He grunted into your ear. His voice went straight to your core. The praise, the authority, the way he said it like it was a fact. "Such a good girl."
You tipped your head back, eyes fluttering shut, shamelessly rubbing against him.
“Let me hear you.” Joel’s teeth nipped at your earlobe.
“Joel.” You moaned, hips rolling with reckless need. “Feels so good–”
You were a sinful sight. Temptation itself, perched on that rusted saddle. Joel’s restraint was hanging by a thread, evident in the way his fingers bit into your waist, like he needed to anchor himself or lose it entirely.
Suddenly, you slumped forward with a gasp, hips stuttering to a halt. Overwhelmed by the way his fingers curled just right, nudging that spot deep inside of you it sent a shiver ripping through you, all the way down to your toes. The only thing keeping you upright was your white-knuckled grip on the horn.
“What, that's all you got, Cowgirl?” 
Your body wasn't listening to you anymore. It only listened to him. Your body rocked fast now, chasing that edge with wild bucking desperation.
But as you got close, too close, your form faltered. Your thighs trembled. Ankles slipped against the rusted stirrups. 
In response, he removed his fingers completely and he halted your movements. You cried as your body clenched on nothing, pleasure dwindling away. “Ah–uh uh.” His tone was firm, unrelenting, “Fix your form.” 
Of course he still wanted you to have proper form, even like this. The bastard was going to drag it out of you, keep you right at the edge, just to make you learn.
You do your best to obey, but oh god, it's so difficult.
You whined, hips twitching, “It's too-” Your head fell forward, “feels too–too good–” You tried to move against his restraint, but his hands were unyielding in letting you chase any friction he didn’t warrant. 
Not until you earned it. 
“What was that?” He chuckled darkly. "Thought you learned fast."
"I-I can't." An exasperated sound came low from your throat.
"You can." His voice was low and coaxing. “Back straight, legs tight.”
The words struck something deep… Need, pride, maybe both. You wanted to give him what he asked for. To hear the way his voice dropped when you got it right.
With frustrated tears hot in your eyes, you forced your trembling thighs to steady, dragging strength from somewhere deep in your core.
Slowly, you realigned your spine, shoulders pulling back hips grinding into position exactly like he taught you.
“There she is.” He murmured, approval slipping into his tone, rich and hot. “Knew you had it in you.”
As if rewarding you, he slipped his two fingers back inside, thrusting in and out, stretching you wide. Your body moved right this time. Controlled and powerful.
There's a hitch in your breath when you shift forwards, your clit hitting his calloused thumb with every thrust. You cried as his fingers hit just right, again and again.
“Look at you, so pretty riding my fingers.” He let the praise land heavy, voice warm like the Wyoming sun.
Your head was thrown back, mouth parted in a silent moan, shamelessly riding his fingers. He watched you, full of hunger you know he is fighting. 
“Oh god,” You whisper, lashes fluttering. His fingers are the finest torture you’ve ever experienced. Mercilessly working to get you higher and higher with every deliberate curl.
“You gonna come for me?” His fingers move furiously, forearm brushing against your breasts at this angle. It was all happening too fast. 
“Yes. Yes, Joel–” A string of broken, desperate sounds spilled from your lips. Words lost. You were teetering right on the edge, trembling with it.
“Go ahead,” His words went directly to your core and your body headed his command before your mind could catch up.
Joels name left your lips, over and over, like a chant as your orgasm slammed into you, stealing every bit of oxygen from your lungs. Every inch of you shook as you unraveled. There was no way your form was holding. Not anymore. 
“That’s it, squeezin’ my fingers so tight–” He cooed in your ear. “Fuck, look at you...”
Your body locked up for a beat and your vision blurred. You were helpless against the wave of pleasure he’d drawn from you with nothing but his touch.
But Joel doesn’t let up. He’s relentless. His fingers move faster, intensifying the feeling. 
It's too much. Too overwhelming.Your chest heaved up and down in a frantic rhythm, lungs barely keeping pace with the fire burning through your body. You buck in the seat, trying to ease off his fingers. 
“Just like that,” His lips brushed the shell of your ear, chest heaving as much as yours. “That's how you ride.” 
Your body shook with aftershocks, thighs quivering. You were stunned, reeling at just how hard you came for him.
"Did so good for me."
You didn’t even realize it was his arm keeping you from collapsing entirely. Strong and steady, wrapped around your waist. Your fingers clutched at his forearm, nails digging into the sun-kissed skin, marking the moment. 
Neither of you moved. The barn fell quiet, save for your uneven breaths mingling together. Birdsong drifted lazily through the dusty slats of the old barn. Nature's calm, a cruel contrast to the wildfire that just tore through you.
Every muscle in your body buzzed. Your legs were jelly, trembling and utterly useless.
The saddle suddenly felt miles too high. The thought of climbing down made your stomach dip. But you couldn’t sit atop the rusted saddle forever.
You released his arm to get off, and he went to help but you shook your head. Pride was a stubborn thing.
“I-I got it.” You muttered, trying to swing one leg over.
Joel didn't move, at first. Just watched with one eyebrow raised. Arms folded.
Balance wavered. Your legs felt like water, and your foot slipped.
And in the space between one breath and the next, his hands caught your waist.
“Easy now,” he murmured, “I got you.”
Before you could argue, he lifted you off the saddle, like you were nothing. Your boneless limbs curled instinctively towards him. 
Your boots met the hay covered ground and you were hauled fully into him, one arm bracing behind your back. You gasped and planted your hands against his chest, realizing this was the first time you intentionally put your hands on him, the whole lesson.
“I said I got it.”  You protested weakly. 
“Can’t have my best student fallin’ off the horse.” 
“I’m your only student.” You tried to scoff, but your voice was sleep-soft. “And it's a barrel.”
Meaning to push away, you shifted. But then you felt him. Hard and hot pressed up against your stomach through the rough denim of his jeans. Your breath hitched. He’d been holding himself back this whole time.
Instinct had your hand moving before you could stop it. But Joel caught your wrist in a tight burning grip. 
“We'll save that for that next lesson."
You pulled your lip between your teeth. "You think I'm ready for the horse now?"
Joel's eyes raked down your body and his lips curled slow and dangerous. "I think your ready for a hell of a lot more than that, Cowgirl."
God help you. You could not wait for the next lesson.
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enhaflixer · 3 months ago
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HARD HOURS - Enhypens reaction when you ask them a sexual question
cw: Explicit mentions, choking, spanking, spitting, dirty talk, shower sex, anything else? wc 8.2K TL: @ziiao @beariegyu @naurwayyyyy @ijustwannareadstuff20 @somuchdard @ddolleri @jinnibug AN: HEY YALL KINDA CRAZY BUT THIS WHAT IM BACK WITH, my fav was jungwons for surrrreeee but pls lemme know who's you liked the most in the comments! this is the post to this ask!
𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠
Heeseung was sprawled out on the couch, completely locked into his game, fingers tapping furiously at the controller as the sounds of gunfire and explosions filled the room. His brows were furrowed, his jaw set in focus. You could tell by the way his leg bounced slightly that he was fully immersed—until you sat beside him and nudged his thigh.
“Hee?” you murmured sweetly.
“Mm-hmm,” he responded absently, eyes never leaving the screen.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, babe. Just give me a sec,” he murmured, dodging an in-game attack and letting out a satisfied laugh when his opponent went down.
You crossed your arms, tilting your head. “It’s a deep question.”
“Okay,” he said, distracted, “Gimme one more—” He froze as soon as the words fully registered. His head turned slowly, one brow arching in mild suspicion. “Wait. What?”
“It’s a philosophical question,” you continued, fighting back a smile.
“Philosophical,” he repeated dryly. He paused the game, setting the controller on his lap as he gave you a long, unreadable look. “What kind of philosophical question? Like, the meaning of life or something?”
You bit your lip, doing your best to keep a straight face. “Not exactly. It’s about… choking.”
Heeseung blinked. His fingers twitched against the controller. “Choking,” he repeated, his voice suddenly much lower. “Like, uh… the kink?”
“Mhm,” you confirmed, stretching out your legs like this was a casual conversation. “I’ve been thinking about why people like it. Is it about trust? Control? Or maybe something more primal?”
Heeseung stared at you. Then he sighed, dragging a hand down his face before leaning back against the couch. “Are you serious?”
You shrugged. “I think it’s an interesting topic.”
“I was literally about to beat that level,” he muttered, pointing at the paused screen. “And you want me to sit here and analyze the philosophy of choking?”
“Well, you can still play,” you teased, nudging his arm. “I can talk while you game.”
He gave you a long, unimpressed look before picking up the controller again. “You’re insane,” he muttered.
“Think about it,” you continued, grinning at how flustered he was. “Why do we want to give up control like that? What does it say about our trust in each other?”
Heeseung groaned, pausing the game again and dropping the controller onto his lap. “You’re seriously not going to stop until I answer, are you?”
“Nope,” you said brightly, leaning closer to him.
His eyes closed briefly as he let out another sigh. When he opened them again, there was a glint of amusement in his gaze. “Fine,” he muttered, setting the controller aside completely. “If you want to talk about trust and control or whatever, I guess we can do that. But just remember—you brought this on yourself.”
The corners of his mouth twitched upward, and despite his initial exasperation, you could tell he was starting to enjoy this. He leaned toward you, resting his forearm on his knee, and smirked. “Alright, philosopher. Let’s hear it.”
You blinked, slightly taken aback by his sudden shift in attitude. “Wait—are you actually interested now?”
Heeseung’s smirk grew. “No,” he said flatly, crossing his arms, “but you’re clearly not gonna let this go. So go ahead, hit me with your big philosophical choking theory.”
You bit your lip, trying not to laugh at how serious he looked. “Okay, well, I think it’s not just about the physical act, you know? It’s about trust. You’re giving someone that much control over you, and you have to fully trust them not to hurt you. That’s kind of beautiful, don’t you think?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Beautiful?”
You shrugged. “Yeah. It’s like a dance—one person leads, the other follows, but only because they trust that the other person knows exactly when to stop. It’s not just primal. It’s… intimate.”
Heeseung snorted. “Intimate,” he repeated, shaking his head. “You’re really turning choking into some kind of love poem?”
“I’m just saying!” you protested, throwing up your hands. “It’s more than just physical. Don’t you ever think about why we’re into the things we’re into?”
He let out a short laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, not really. I just figured you liked it rough sometimes.”
You couldn’t help but grin at how casually he said it. “Well, yeah, but it’s not just that. It’s the trust. The dynamic. That feeling of giving up control in a safe way. Don’t you ever think about what that means?”
Heeseung looked at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, with a dramatic groan, he reached for his controller again. “I think it means I’m never gonna get to finish this game if you keep talking.”
You laughed, lightly swatting his arm. “You’re such a dork.”
“And you’re overthinking everything,” he shot back, though there was no real bite in his tone. “But fine. If it means that much to you…” He paused, his gaze flickering down to your lips before he leaned in closer, just barely brushing against you. His voice dropped slightly as he added, “Maybe I’ll show you exactly what trust feels like later.”
Your breath hitched, the teasing smirk on his face making your pulse race.
He pulled back quickly, though, laughing as he turned back to his game. “But only if you let me beat this level first.”
Heeseung’s fingers lingered against your jaw, his thumb moving in slow, deliberate circles along your cheekbone. His eyes, dark and heavy-lidded, flickered over your face, lingering on your parted lips. He was watching—reading you—taking in every shaky breath, every nervous flick of your gaze, every small movement that gave you away.
“You like this, don’t you?” he murmured, his voice lower now, a velvety, teasing hum. His lips hovered just inches from yours, and you could feel his breath ghosting over your skin. Close, but not close enough.
Your pulse jumped. He wasn’t even touching you properly yet, and somehow, he had you completely at his mercy. “You’re the one making me wait,” you managed to whisper, though your voice lacked the teasing edge you intended.
Heeseung chuckled softly, the sound deep and knowing. His grip tightened slightly, his fingers sliding down the column of your neck, grazing your collarbone before settling just above your waist. He held you there, his touch grounding but unhurried—like he was savoring the anticipation, like he knew exactly how worked up you were and was in no rush to give you what you wanted.
“That’s because I like seeing you like this,” he admitted, his tone smooth and unbothered, yet threaded with something darker. “All needy. Barely keeping it together.” His thumb dipped slightly, brushing against the waistband of your shorts before retreating—just enough to make you twitch under his touch.
Your breath hitched, and his smirk grew.
“You keep talking about trust,” Heeseung continued, his fingers toying lazily with the fabric at your hip. His movements were slow, agonizingly slow, as if daring you to break first. “But you already know you trust me.”
Your body leaned into him instinctively, searching for more, but his grip tightened just enough to hold you still. “Then prove it,” he whispered against your jaw, his lips finally making contact. “Let me do everything.”
The words sent a shiver through you.
His mouth moved down, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses along your neck, his tongue tracing the faintest heat against your skin before he pulled back—leaving you aching for more. His other hand slid under the hem of your shirt, fingertips grazing over your ribs before drifting lower. Every touch was calculated, purposeful. Just enough to make your stomach tighten, just enough to make you want to beg.
But you didn’t. Not yet.
Instead, you dug your fingers into his shoulders, holding onto him as if he were the only thing tethering you to reality. Heeseung chuckled again, the sound vibrating against your throat.
“You’re holding on so tight,” he murmured, his voice dipping even lower. His lips hovered just beneath your ear. “Afraid I’ll let go?”
You swallowed hard. “No,” you whispered.
His teeth grazed the sensitive spot on your neck, just barely. “Then stop thinking,” he ordered softly. “Just let me take care of you.”
Your breath came quicker now, your body already burning with anticipation. And Heeseung—Heeseung could feel it.
His smirk deepened as he pulled back slightly, dark eyes flickering over your face. He was still taking his time, still making you wait. His fingers skimmed lower, trailing along the waistband of your shorts once more before slipping underneath.
You gasped softly, your fingers tightening against his skin.
Heeseung grinned, satisfied. “That’s better,” he murmured. “Now let’s see just how much you really trust me.”
And then, finally—finally—he gave you exactly what you needed.
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠
Jay was so patient with you.
Your husband spoiled you endlessly, let you crawl into his lap whenever you wanted, kissed you lazily even when he was exhausted, and held you close like you were the only thing keeping him grounded. But tonight? Tonight, he was actually trying to work.
You should’ve let him.
But then, you didn’t.
Instead, you climbed into his lap without warning, straddling him like it was the most natural thing in the world. He froze immediately, hands still hovering over his MIDI keyboard, his body going stiff beneath you.
You could feel his exhale against your neck. Slow, steady, knowing.
“…Bored?” he asked finally, his voice warm but very clearly suspicious.
You hummed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “Not really. Just wanted to sit here.”
Jay let out a slow suffering sigh, but his hands settled on your waist instinctively. “Baby, you know I’m—”
“Can I ask you something?” you interrupted, tilting your head.
His fingers drummed absentmindedly against your back. “Okay…” He gave you a very skeptical look. “Is it normal?”
You pursed your lips, pretending to think. “I’d say so.”
Jay narrowed his eyes slightly, still not trusting you one bit. “Go on.”
You leaned in, brushing your lips against his jaw before whispering, “Why do you think I like sitting on your face so much?”
Jay’s entire body locked up.
His grip on your waist tightened immediately. His lips parted slightly, his pupils dilating as his brain fully shut down.He blinked once. Twice.
“…What?”
You smirked. “Do you think it’s about power? Like, I like being in control? Or do you think it’s more about trust?”
Jay just kept blinking.
You could see the exact moment his brain tried and failed to process what you had just said. His brows furrowed slightly, his jaw tensing.
“…Are we really having this conversation right now?”
You grinned. “Yes.”
Jay let out the deepest sigh, dragging a hand down his face. “I—what? Why?”
“Because it’s an interesting question.”
His hands slid down to your hips, gripping firmly. “Baby, I was literally working. And you just decided now was the best time to talk about why you like—”
“It’s psychology, Jay.” You lifted your hips slightly before settling back down, just enough to feel the way his breath hitched beneath you.
Jay’s fingers flexed, hard. His grip on you tightened instantly. His jaw clenched, visibly trying to keep it together.
“…You’re actually insane,” he muttered.
“But you love me,” you teased, shifting slightly again.
Jay inhaled sharply, his patience visibly wearing thin. “Okay,” he muttered, voice lower now. “You want an answer?”
You nodded, biting back a smirk.
His fingers traced slow, lazy circles against your hips. “I think,” he murmured, his tone dipping into something dangerous, “you like it because you know I’d stay there for hours if you let me.”
Your breath hitched.
Jay’s smirk deepened, his hands gripping tighter now. “Because you like having me at your mercy. Because you like seeing me fall apart underneath you.”
Your heartbeat thundered in your ears.
He leaned in, his lips just barely brushing against yours. “But if you wanna talk about trust,” he whispered, “then let’s test it.”
Before you could react, he rolled his hips up into you.
A sharp gasp left your lips as the friction sent a rush of heat straight to your stomach. Jay’s smirk didn’t fade. If anything, it grew as his hands guided you—slow, lazy movements, just enough to tease.
“Still wanna keep talking?” he asked, voice all silk and sin.
You barely managed to swallow. “I—”
He rolled up again, his grip tightening.
You whimpered.
Jay chuckled, leaning in until his lips brushed against your ear. “That’s what I thought.”
His hands guided you over him again, the friction sparking a dangerous kind of heat between your legs, your thighs trembling slightly as you gripped his shoulders. You could feel everything. The way he fit against you perfectly, the heat of his body radiating through the thin layers between you.
Jay’s lips brushed your jaw, his voice a low murmur. “I want you to feel it.”
You barely managed a reply before he rocked you down against him again, harder this time. A choked moan left your lips, your fingers digging into his shoulders, your body already burning.
Jay’s hands didn’t stop. Didn’t slow down.
His lips curled against your ear. “See?” he whispered. “You don’t even need my mouth to fall apart.”
You let out a desperate, broken noise, gripping onto him as your stomach coiled tighter and tighter, the slow, deliberate grind of his hips sending waves of heat through you.
“You wanted to talk about trust?” Jay muttered. “Then trust me. Let go.”
And then, he pushed up into you just right.
Your body gave in instantly, the sharp, overwhelming pleasure ripping through you too fast to stop. You trembled in his arms, your breath catching, your nails biting into his skin as you came right there, just from the way he moved you.
Jay let out a low groan, his hands gripping your waist as he kept you steady through it, watching you come undone in his lap.
And when you finally slumped against his chest, shaky and breathless, he just chuckled, his voice filled with pure satisfaction.
“That,” he murmured, lips pressing against your temple, “is the real answer to your question.”
𝐒𝐢𝐦 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧
Jake was completely at peace.
Sprawled across the couch, his laptop open in front of him, he was deep into some ridiculously long YouTube documentary about deep-sea fishing. His head was resting comfortably against the couch cushions, his arm draped lazily over the backrest, the other settled comfortably around your waist. You were leaning into his chest, tucked perfectly against him, the warmth of his body pressing into yours as he absentmindedly traced slow, light circles over your stomach.
It was comfortable. Domestic.
It was also about to be completely ruined.
He hadn’t even realized what he had done, how carelessly he had set himself up for failure, until it was far too late. Because when you walked in, when you settled so easily into his lap, nuzzling into him like you belonged there, he greeted you without thinking.
“Hi, my angel.”
The moment the words left his lips, his entire body tensed.
The realization hit him immediately.
A slow, creeping pause settled between you, as if even the air had stilled. His fingers froze mid-trace against your stomach. His breath hitched, sharp and slow, and you—you little menace—smiled. Sweetly.
Jake blinked once. Then twice. He swallowed hard, his grip on you tightening slightly. His brain was already trying to calculate how to undo his mistake, how to steer this moment back into something safe.
But it was too late.
His breath came slower now, more measured, more cautious. “Wait…” he murmured, his voice tinged with immediate regret.
You tilted your head up, still smiling. “Can I ask you something?”
Jake let out a slow, suffering sigh. “Oh, here we go.”
You ignored him, shifting slightly in his lap, settling in closer. “Why do you think dirty talk is so powerful?” you asked, your tone almost innocent. “Do you think it’s more about power dynamics? Or is it psychological?”
Jake’s entire body locked up.
Every single part of him—his hands, his breath, the subtle rise and fall of his chest—all of it stopped.
Like a deer caught in headlights, his fingers, which had been resting lazily on your stomach, stiffened completely. His jaw went tight. His chest barely moved.
Then, after a long, long moment of absolute silence, he sucked in a slow, sharp inhale.
His head tilted back against the couch, eyes fixed on the ceiling as if asking the universe why it had forsaken him.His hands dragged down his face, his frustration so tangible you could almost taste it.
“…What the fuck.”
You giggled. “It’s a valid question.”
Jake turned his head so slowly it was almost painful, his eyes narrowed in pure disbelief. “No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s fucking not.”
Jake exhaled sharply through his nose, gripping your waist like he was trying to ground himself. “Baby,” he said, his voice so strained, “I was watching a fishing video.”
“And now we’re talking about something even more interesting,” you chirped, shifting in his lap just slightly.
Jake’s fingers flexed instantly. His grip on your waist tightened.
He exhaled through his nose again, sharper this time. “You are actually the worst,” he muttered, his jaw clenching.
You grabbed his hand, lifting it to your lips.
Jake immediately stopped breathing.
You kissed his fingertips softly, the warmth of your lips pressing against his skin before slowly, purposefully, slipping two of them into your mouth.
Sucking.
Jake let out a low, shaky breath. His entire body tensed.
His hand, which had been resting casually on your stomach just seconds ago, was now twitching in your grasp, his fingers pressing lightly against your tongue, his pulse quickening beneath your fingertips.
“…What are you doing?” he asked, voice dangerously lower.
You pulled his fingers out with a soft pop, tilting your head. “Getting them wet.”
Jake’s pupils dilated instantly.
His breath hitched as he swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His entire system was malfunctioning.
“For what?” he finally croaked, voice hoarse.
You guided his hand back down, slipping it beneath your waistband.
Jake’s breath hitched violently.
“Oh, fuck.”
His fingers twitched, and his entire body went rigid.
You turned your head slightly, your lips brushing his jaw. “Go on, Jakey.”
Jake let out a low, shaky exhale. “You are—” He cut himself off, sucking in a breath.
Then, after a second of pure hesitation, his fingers finally moved.
A soft whimper escaped you, and Jake lost it.
His arm tightened around your waist, his lips brushing against your temple. “You wanna talk about power?” he whispered. “Let’s test it.”
His fingers pressed deeper, teasing, purposeful, unhurried. He was taking his time, dragging the moment out just to see how long you could last.
Your hips jerked slightly, seeking more, but Jake just chuckled darkly.
“Patience, angel,” he murmured, so smug. “Since you wanted a full analysis, I think it’s only fair I take my time.”
His fingers dipped lower, spreading you apart as he dragged his touch through your slick. His movements were infuriatingly slow, feather-light strokes that had your thighs tensing instantly.
Jake hummed, his breath warm against your ear. “Shit, baby. You’re already this wet? Just from that?”
You bit your lip, breathing uneven.
His fingers stilled. “Use your words.”
You swallowed hard. “Y-yeah, Jakey.”
Jake let out a low groan, his lips pressing to the side of your neck. “Fuck. I should’ve known. My needy girl just loves being talked to, huh?”
You nodded quickly.
Jake chuckled darkly, his fingers suddenly pressing deeper, rubbing slow, deliberate circles.
Your breath hitched, your legs tensing.
“You’re so easy to ruin,” he muttered, his tone filled with pure, filthy amusement.
His fingers picked up the pace, dipping inside you before pressing back up to rub exactly where you needed. Your hips jerked helplessly, a soft moan spilling from your lips as you gripped his arm for support.
Jake smirked. “Oh, you love this, don’t you?”
And then, he ruined you.
His fingers pressed deep, rubbing fast, relentless, filthy, perfect. His free hand tightened around your stomach, holding you down against him as you squirmed helplessly.
Jake groaned, his voice low and pleased. “That’s it, angel,” he murmured. “Just like that. Let me feel you.”
Your stomach tightened as the pleasure crashed over you too fast to stop.
And when it was over, when you were spent and shaking in his arms, Jake just smirked, bringing his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean.
“Philosophy lesson’s over, angel,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Now you’re just mine.”
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧
Sunghoon had one simple goal: take a shower, relax, and get some goddamn peace.
But no. That was never an option when it came to you.
The second you waltzed into the bathroom, planted yourself on the closed toilet lid, and smirked up at him like you had something evil brewing in that brain of yours, he should’ve just turned around and walked straight out.
But instead, he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he peeled off his shirt, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He should’ve ignored you.
But then—
“Babe, have I told you that you look suuuuuuper sexy right now?”
His fingers froze mid-motion on the waistband of his sweatpants. His entire body stiffened. Slowly, too slowly, he turned to look at you, his jaw already clenching.
He squinted, suspicious. “What do you want?”
You gasped, so dramatically, placing a hand over your chest like you were some old-timey actress in distress. “Why do you assume I want something?”
Sunghoon exhaled sharply, rubbing his temple. He knew you. He knew exactly where this was going.
Your grin widened. “Can I ask you something?”
He groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “No.”
“You haven’t even heard it yet!” you pouted.
Another sigh. "Fine. What?"
You tilted your head, studying him like he was a puzzle you were trying to solve.
And then—you ruined his entire night.
"Why do you think I like it so much when you fuck me in the shower?"
Silence.
A long, painful, unbearable silence.
Sunghoon just stood there, blinking, processing, trying to comprehend the absolute nonsense you had just said.
Then, without a single word, he turned to the shower wall and banged his head against the tile.
"Are you fucking serious?"
You burst into laughter, delighted. "What? It's a valid question!"
His jaw clenched. His fists curled at his sides. He inhaled deeply, through his nose, struggling for self-restraint.
His patience was hanging by a thread.
“Why,” he muttered, voice painfully flat, "why the fuck would you ask me that right now?"
You shrugged, still grinning. “Just curious.”
His eyes narrowed. “No, you’re not. You’re trying to start shit.”
You giggled. “I’m not! I just think it’s interesting.”
Sunghoon dragged a hand through his hair, his muscles tensing, his biceps flexing slightly in frustration. “I hate you .”
"No, you don't," you chimed, voice way too smug.
Sunghoon tilted his head back against the tile, exhaling sharply, as if praying for patience.
And then, you made it worse.
You stretched, arching your back slightly, batting your lashes up at him, letting the steam from the running shower kiss your skin.
"You're so dense sometimes," you teased, voice syrupy-sweet, laced with pure mischief.
Sunghoon’s head snapped toward you instantly.
His eyes darkened. His fingers twitched.
You smirked. "Maybe I just want you to fuck me in the shower."
That was it.
That was the final straw.
Sunghoon full-body froze.
For a second, he didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Didn’t even breathe.
And then, his patience snapped.
In two quick strides, he was in front of you, gripping your wrist and yanking you up onto your feet. His other hand grasped the back of your neck, tilting your head up until your breath hitched.
His eyes? Dark. Sharp. Absolutely wrecked.
His thumb brushed along your jaw, teasing, firm, unforgiving.
"Say that again."
Your stomach flipped violently.
His grip on your waist tightened.
You smirked. "Maybe I just want you to f—"
You never got to finish your sentence.
Sunghoon grabbed you, lifted you effortlessly, and carried you straight into the shower.
Your scream of protest barely made it out before the water crashed over both of you, drenching you instantly.
And then—
"WAIT—LET ME TAKE MY BRA OFF FIRST!"
Sunghoon froze.
His grip on your thighs tightened slightly.
Then, slowly—so painfully slowly—he lifted his head, staring at you like you had just spoken a completely different language.
“…What the fuck is wrong with you?”
You whined, struggling in his grip, water dripping down your face. "Hoon, it's new! I don't wanna get it wet!"
Sunghoon let out the most exasperated laugh, shaking his head like he was physically restraining himself from throwing his head back in frustration.
"Baby. It’s just a bra.”
Your jaw dropped. "It is NOT just a bra!"
Sunghoon groaned, tilting his head back, breathing deeply like he was trying to find the strength to not completely combust.
Then, after a beat, his grip on you changed.
“I’ll buy you a new one,” he muttered, voice darker now, rougher, wrecked beyond belief.
Then, before you could even react, his mouth latched onto your collarbone, biting, teasing.
Your protest turned into a sharp gasp.
His hands slid up your soaked body, fingers hooking under the bra straps, dragging them down, his teeth grazing against your skin.
And then, he sucked.
Hard.
Your breath hitched violently, your back arching instinctively.
Sunghoon groaned against you, his tongue flicking over the sensitive bud, teasing, tugging. His grip tightened, pressing you further into the tile.
"You're whining about a bra, but you're already falling apart," he muttered against your skin.
Your fingers clawed at his shoulders, legs trembling in his grasp. "H-Hoon—"
He grinned against your skin, completely in control now, completely in his element.
He licked a slow stripe over your nipple, sucking it into his mouth again.
Then, with a groan that sent heat pooling between your thighs, he sighed against your skin.
His mouth was fixated on your chest, his hands squeezing, kneading, his lips sucking bruises into your soft skin. His teeth scraped lightly, tongue flicking, mouth warm and wet as he groaned against your body.
His grip on your thighs tightened, pressing you further into the cool tile, the contrast of heat and cold making your breath hitch. He was obsessed, hyper-focused, like he was trying to commit every inch of you to memory.
And then—you ruined him all over again.
Between sharp gasps and breathy whimpers, you let out a teasing, mock-thoughtful hum.
"Hoon… if you had to choose, my tits or me… which one?"
Sunghoon’s movements completely stopped.
His teeth grazed over your nipple, pausing mid-bite. His fingers flexed against your waist, gripping you tighter. His breath stalled.
Then—so, so slowly—he lifted his head.
Water dripped from his soaked hair, running down his sharp jaw, over his kiss-swollen lips, and down the defined slope of his collarbones. His eyes flickered up, meeting yours—dark, dazed, completely wrecked.
And then, he let out the most exasperated groan of his life.
"Are you actually insane?"
You giggled, wiggling slightly in his grasp. “It’s a simple question.”
Sunghoon’s jaw clenched. His fingers dug into your thighs, holding you in place. He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes.
And then—just to make you suffer, he exhaled slowly, dragging his hands over your curves, squeezing your waist, before moving right back up to your chest.
His thumb brushed over your nipple lazily, teasing, deliberate. Then, he leaned in again, mouth hovering right over your skin, his breath warm, smirking against you.
"Hmm," he murmured, mock considering. "That’s actually a really hard choice, baby…"
Your stomach flipped violently.
He tilted his head, exhaling sharply through his nose, like he was really thinking about it. "I mean," he continued, squeezing your breasts again, licking a slow, teasing stripe over the sensitive skin, "on one hand, your tits are literally perfect."
His tongue flicked over your nipple, making your breath stutter.
"So soft, so fucking pretty, fit right in my hands," he groaned, his voice dropping lower, hungrier.
Your fingers dug into his shoulders. "Hoon—"
"But," he interrupted, grinning against your skin, pressing another wet, open-mouthed kiss, his teeth nipping at the skin right above your breast.
"You’re also really cute."
You snorted, shoving at his shoulder. "Really cute? That’s the best you’ve got?"
Sunghoon grinned, squeezing your thighs tighter. "I’m literally worshiping you in the shower, and you’re worried about my choice of words?"
You huffed. "You didn’t answer the question."
Sunghoon pulled back slightly, tilting his head, mock-considering again. Then, with zero shame, he muttered, "Honestly? …I might have to choose the tits."
Your jaw dropped. “HOON!”
He broke instantly, laughing against your skin, his grip on you tightening as you squirmed against him.
"I’m kidding, I’m kidding!" he choked out between laughs, pressing hot, teasing kisses back over your chest, dragging his tongue across every inch of skin he could reach.
Then, as he pulled you even closer, mouth ghosting over your ear, voice dripping with amusement and something darker, something heavier, he murmured—
"Don’t worry, baby."
He nipped at your earlobe, grinning against your skin.
"I’d never survive without you."
And then, he sank back down, lips wrapping around your nipple again, sucking deep and slow, like he was tasting something addictive.
This time, he looked up while he did it.
His big, dark eyes locked onto yours, wide and intense, watching every tiny shift in your expression. The moment your lips parted on a shaky moan, his grip tightened on your waist, his tongue flicking deliberately against the peak before closing his lips around it again, sucking harder.
His eyes never left your face.
Every time you gasped, every time your brows furrowed slightly in pleasure, he noticed. His breath came out faster, rougher, his pupils blown wide as if he was getting off on watching you unravel.
He pulled off with a wet pop, lips pink and glossy, tongue swiping over them as he tilted his head.
“Fuck.”
His voice was wrecked. Raspy. So deep it sent a sharp pulse straight through your core.
“You look so pretty when I do that,” he murmured.
His mouth was right back on you, sucking even harder, his eyes heavy-lidded, unwavering.
His fingers kneaded your other breast, rolling the sensitive bud between his fingers, his hips pressing forward, pinning you completely against the tile.
The look on his face was pure hunger.
"I swear, I could do this forever, baby."
His voice was low, hoarse, slurred around his next breath. His thumb brushed over your nipple, teasingly slow. His lips pressed soft, wet kisses down the swell of your breast, dragging his teeth slightly as he went.
And then, as if the realization just hit him, he let out a soft groan, his head dropping briefly against your chest.
"God, I hate you," he muttered, his breath warm against your skin.
You let out a breathless laugh. "Yeah?"
Sunghoon lifted his head, grinning slightly, but his eyes were still dark, still drunk off you.
Then, with zero hesitation, he leaned down, kissing between your breasts, nipping lightly at your skin, before whispering—
"But I love your tits. I can’t live without them."
𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐨
Sunoo was thrilled.
Not because of the movie playing on his laptop, not because he had finally gotten comfortable on the couch with his oversized blanket. No.
He was thrilled because you had just turned to him, eyes glinting with curiosity, and asked—
“Why do you think I like being praised so much?”
Sunoo blinked once.
Then, his entire face lit up.
“Oh, finally! A topic I actually care about!”
You snorted immediately. “What does that mean?”
Sunoo sat up straight, pulling the blanket off his shoulders like he was preparing for a TED Talk. “It means I have thoughts.”
Your lips twitched. “You’ve thought about this before?”
"Obviously." His tone was borderline offended. “Baby, do you realize how much you fish for compliments? If I don’t tell you you’re pretty at least three times a day, you start getting restless.”
You gasped, scandalized. “I do NOT!”
Sunoo arched a brow.
You pouted. “…Maybe a little.”
He grinned, smug. “See? And that’s why I already have a theory.”
You huffed, crossing your arms. “Alright, genius. Enlighten me.”
Sunoo’s eyes practically sparkled.
“It’s because you like validation, but not just any validation—you like earned validation.”
Your brows furrowed. “Go on.”
Sunoo tilted his head, clearly enjoying this way too much. “See, if I tell you you’re beautiful just because, you’ll accept it—but if I tell you that you’re beautiful because you just made me lose my mind in bed? That’s what gets you going.”
You froze.
Sunoo smirked immediately. “Ohhh, I’m right, aren’t I?”
You swallowed. “…Continue.”
He leaned in slightly, his voice turning softer, smoother. “You don’t just want to hear that you’re good at something—you want proof. You want me to tell you how good you are, how perfect you are, while I’m literally falling apart because of you.”
Your entire body felt like it was heating up.
Sunoo’s eyes gleamed. “You want to be the best. You want to feel like you’re irreplaceable.”
You bit your lip, suddenly very aware of how close he was getting.
And then, as if he was reading your mind, he smiled sweetly, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper.
“You like being praised because you like knowing you’re ruining me.”
Your breath hitched.
And Sunoo caught it immediately.
His smirk turned positively sinful. “See? I told you I was right.”
You swallowed, trying to recover, but the knowing glint in his eyes had you spiraling. “Okay, fine. Maybe you have a point.”
Sunoo grinned, entirely too satisfied.
Then, just to push you further, he tilted his head, watching you closely. “Do you want me to prove it?”
Your entire body shivered.
And that was all the confirmation he needed.
Sunoo was still sitting, his posture perfectly relaxed, but his eyes? His eyes told a different story. They were dark, glinting with something sharp, something playful, something completely devastating.
And you?
You were fully spiraling.
Your breath hitched, barely noticeable, but Sunoo caught it immediately. His lips twitched into the softest smirk, like he was already celebrating his victory.
Then, with the slowest, most deliberate movement possible, he reached forward, his fingers brushing against your chin, tilting your face up slightly.
“You’re quiet all of a sudden,” he mused, voice velvety smooth, teasing.
Your heart slammed against your ribs. “I—I’m just…” You swallowed. “Thinking.”
Sunoo smirked. “Mm. Thinking.”
And then, without warning, he closed the space between you.
The first kiss was soft, teasing, just a hint of pressure. Just enough to make your breath stutter.
But then?
Then he tilted his head slightly, deepening it—just barely.
And that was your first mistake.
Because the second your body melted into him, the second your fingers gripped onto his sweater slightly, he smiled into the kiss—fully in control, fully aware of the power he had over you.
His hand slid up your jaw, fingers pressing lightly at the hinge, guiding you into the kiss the way he wanted.
Slow. Controlled. Completely devastating.
When he finally pulled back slightly, his lips were already kiss-swollen, his breath uneven.
But his eyes?
Smug. So, so smug.
“You like it when I take my time, don’t you?” he murmured, his thumb brushing over your cheek.
Your stomach flipped violently.
Sunoo grinned. “That’s what I thought.”
And then, before you could even respond, he was on you again.
This time, no hesitation, no teasing.
Just deep, soul-stealing kisses, his lips moving against yours slow and deliberate, as if he was savoring every second.
His free hand slid down, gripping your waist, pulling you closer, until you were practically pressed against him.
You let out a soft, breathless sound, and that was all it took.
Sunoo groaned softly against your lips, his fingers tightening on your waist as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss even further.
His tongue traced along your bottom lip, slow, unhurried, teasing, and when you gasped softly, he swallowed the sound immediately, taking full control of the kiss.
And just when you thought you couldn’t take any more, he pulled away—just barely, just enough to make you chase his lips.
His breath fanned against your mouth, his lips grazing yours as he whispered—
“See, baby?”
His fingers slid along your jaw, tilting your chin up slightly, forcing you to meet his eyes.
“You love it when I praise you.”
𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧
It had been one of those weeks. Jungwon was exhausted, and all he wanted was a night of uninterrupted sleep. But you had other plans.
You’d been tossing and turning beside him for nearly half an hour, sighing loudly, shifting closer and closer as if waiting for him to acknowledge you. He didn’t. He stayed still, kept his eyes shut, and prayed you’d get tired and fall asleep.
Instead, you whispered, “Jungwon?”
He ignored you.
“Jungwon,” you tried again, your voice sweet and teasing.
A sharp sigh escaped him, and finally, he muttered, “What.”
You smiled, pressing yourself closer. “Can we talk about something?”
“No,” he said flatly, eyes still closed.
“But it’s important.”
“It’s never important.” His voice was calm, but there was a sharp edge to it.
“You don’t even know what it is yet,” you said, undeterred.
Jungwon opened his eyes just enough to glare at you. His expression was entirely unamused, but the annoyance in his face was matched with a weariness that made his sharp tone almost flat. “Fine,” he muttered. “What is it?”
You bit your lip, trailing your fingers lightly over his stomach. “It’s about sex.”
He stilled, his hand twitching against the blanket. “…What about it.”
“I’ve been thinking,” you said, drawing out your words as you brushed your nails down his chest, “about why I always want you to fuck me until I cry.”
His jaw clenched, his body going rigid. For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. Then, with an exaggerated exhale, he rolled over and faced the wall.
You gasped. “Oh my God. You’re actually ignoring me?”
“Yes.”
“But I need you.”
“You always need me.”
“And you love it.”
Jungwon let out the heaviest sigh you’d ever heard. After another moment of silence, he rolled onto his back again, dragging a hand down his face. His eyes were half-lidded, heavy with exhaustion and exasperation.
“You have no self-control,” he muttered.
You grinned. “Mhm.”
He shook his head. “No, because let’s really talk about this. You’re constantly like this. Always touching me, always saying things like that. Do you have any idea how impossible you make my life?”
You giggled softly, your fingers moving lower. “I do.”
“That wasn’t a compliment,” he said, narrowing his eyes at you.
“But you love me.”
“…Unfortunately.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, his patience hanging by a thread. “I have been told I have a very high sex drive, but baby, I do not have the facilities to go three times a day. I have things to do. I need sleep. I need to—”
His voice cut off mid-sentence as he noticed where your hand had gone. His gaze dropped, and his lips parted slightly as he registered the slow, deliberate circles you were making against yourself.
“Are you seriously doing that right now?” he asked, his voice low and clipped.
You smirked, letting out a soft moan. “Mhm.”
Jungwon’s jaw tightened. His hand shot out, grabbing your wrist and pulling it away. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, his voice quiet and controlled. “You really have no shame, do you?”
His free hand trailed down to your thigh, pausing just at the edge of your hip. “You’ve made my life difficult every single day this week. And now you’re doing this.” His fingers brushed against you lightly, making you shiver. “Fine. If you’re going to be this much of a problem, then count every single time you’ve made things harder for me.”
“Count?” you repeated, your breath catching.
“Count,” he ordered, his voice calm but firm. He paused just long enough for you to hesitate before delivering a sharp slap against your center.
You gasped, your back arching slightly at the sudden sting.
“One,” you murmured, your voice unsteady.
Jungwon hummed softly, satisfied. “Good. Now keep going. Let’s start with Monday—when you woke me up two hours early because you were ‘bored.’ I told you to wait until I was actually awake, but you just wouldn’t stop until I gave in.”
Another slap.
“Two.”
“Tuesday,” he continued, his voice still low and even, though his grip on your wrist remained firm. “I had a meeting, and you climbed onto my lap, whispering in my ear, making it impossible to focus. You knew exactly what you were doing.”
The slap that followed was harder this time, the sharp sound echoing through the room.
“Three.”
He tilted his head slightly, his gaze steady on you. “Wednesday. I was trying to work, and you walked in wearing that shirt you know drives me insane. You didn’t even have a reason—just stood there, stretching, pretending not to notice what it did to me.”
Another slap, this one leaving you breathless.
“Four.”
“Thursday,” Jungwon continued, his tone remaining measured. “I came home late, exhausted, ready to collapse. But you were waiting in bed, saying you couldn’t sleep, that you missed me, that you needed me—like I didn’t have the right to rest after a long day.”
The next slap made you whimper, and you barely managed to whisper the number.
“Five.”
“And Friday,” he said, his voice calm and thoughtful, as though he were simply recounting facts. “You walked in while I was on the phone, saying the filthiest things in my ear, completely throwing me off.”
Another slap, another gasp, another quiet number.
“Six.”
Jungwon smirked faintly, his expression unreadable as he leaned down, his breath warm against your ear. “Six times,” he murmured. “Six times this week you’ve pushed me too far. I wonder how many more it’ll take before you finally learn.”
And then, without warning, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your neck before he parted them. A single strand of saliva dripped from his mouth, landing directly where his hand had just been. The warmth of it sent a shiver through you, and your thighs instinctively shifted.
Jungwon watched your reaction, his gaze dark. “You don’t listen,” he muttered, his thumb moving to spread the wetness over your heated skin. “But that’s fine. I’ll just have to remind you again.”
With that, he leaned down further, his mouth finding its way to your skin. His lips pressed lightly, his tongue dragging along the sensitive area. And when he finally took you in his mouth, the warmth, the pressure—it was too much. Your breathing quickened, your hands clenching the sheets as he worked, his actions slow, deliberate, and relentless.
Jungwon pulled back slightly, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. He glanced up at you, his expression still composed, though his eyes burned with intensity. “You’ll count properly next time,” he said quietly, his tone steady, “or we’ll just keep going until you do.”
𝐍𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐤𝐢
The private court was quiet, except for the sound of sneakers skidding across the pavement, the steady rhythm of the basketball bouncing, and the occasional swoosh of a perfect shot hitting the net.
It was almost peaceful.
Almost.
Because you were bored out of your mind.
At first, you had been entertained—watching Riki drip with sweat, his muscles flexing subtly under his shirt, his jaw clenched in focus as he moved effortlessly across the court. You could’ve sat there for hours.
But now?
Now you were kicking at the pavement, sprawling yourself dramatically across the bench, watching him ignore you like it was his job.
You sighed loudly. "Ni-ki."
“Mmm.” He didn’t even glance at you, lining up another shot.
You huffed. "I’m bored."
“Okay,” he said, still not looking.
Your eye twitched. “That’s it?”
He smirked slightly, dribbling the ball lazily. “What do you want me to do? Call the circus to entertain you?”
“I don’t know,” you grumbled, watching as he effortlessly sunk another shot before catching the ball again.
Riki finally turned, spinning the ball in his hands, giving you the laziest grin. “You literally begged to come watch me play.”
“Yeah, because I thought you'd be entertaining,” you shot back, crossing your arms. “Instead, I’m just sitting here, staring at you running around in circles.”
He grinned. “So basically, you just like watching me be hot.”
You snorted. “I mean… yeah.”
Riki’s smirk widened. “I knew it.”
You rolled your eyes, but then, an idea hit you.
A terrible, wonderful, completely deranged idea.
“Actually,” you started, stretching your arms above your head, watching him carefully, “I have a question.”
Riki blinked, dribbling absently. "Why do I feel like this is about to be something weird?"
You ignored him. “Why do you think I like it so much when you spit in my mouth?”
Silence.
Riki’s hands literally stopped moving. The ball bounced off his foot and rolled away.
Very, very slowly, he turned to stare at you, expression completely blank.
“…I’m sorry?”
You grinned. “Like, psychologically. What do you think it means?”
His mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again.
Nothing came out.
You waited. Smiling. Expectant.
Riki exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”
You gasped, mock-offended. “That’s rude! It’s a normal question!”
“That is not a normal question!” He threw his hands up, fully spiraling now. “Who the hell sits courtside, watches their boyfriend play basketball, and then just—just casually wonders about the deeper meaning of spit kinks?!”
You shrugged, completely unbothered. “I just think it’s interesting.”
Riki rubbed his temples like you were giving him a migraine. “Jesus Christ.”
Then, after a long pause, he squinted at you. “…So, do you actually want an answer?”
You grinned. “Obviously.”
Riki groaned, shaking his head. "You're actually insane."
But then—he actually thought about it.
“…Okay, fine.” He crossed his arms, looking at you like you were a science experiment. "You like being spit in because you’re gross."
You rolled your eyes. "Okay, Mr. Psychology Degree."
He smirked. "No, seriously. It’s the ownership thing, isn’t it? It’s about control. You like it because it’s filthy and degrading, and that’s what gets you off."
Your stomach flipped violently.
Riki caught it immediately.
His grin widened. "Ohhh, that’s totally it."
You crossed your arms, trying to play it cool. “I—maybe. Continue.”
He tilted his head, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. “It’s primal, isn’t it? Something about me doing something so demeaning, but you still loving it. Like you’d take anything I give you.”
Your thighs pressed together involuntarily.
And of course, Riki saw.
His smirk turned wicked.
"You like it," he murmured, stepping forward, bouncing the basketball once before letting it roll away.
Your back straightened. “I never said that.”
"You didn’t have to," he said smoothly.
Then, before you could react, he grabbed your wrist, yanking you up from the bench effortlessly.
You let out a surprised squeak, your hands instinctively pressing against his chest.
"Riki—"
"Shh," he murmured, backing you up until your spine hit the court wall.
Your pulse skyrocketed.
His arms caged you in, his body pressed just barely against yours, not touching but close enough that you could feel his warmth.
"So," he mused, tilting his head, his eyes flicking between yours. "You like it when I’m in control, huh?"
Your breath caught.
Riki grinned, teasing. "What was that thing you said earlier? You like it when I spit in your mouth?"
Your face burned. "I didn’t say I liked it—"
"Oh, no, no, baby," he murmured, leaning in, lips ghosting over yours, breath hot and sweet. "You love it."
You whimpered.
Riki’s grin widened. "Should I prove it?"
Your stomach flipped so hard you nearly collapsed.
And before you could answer, his hand tilted your chin up, thumb brushing over your bottom lip.
His eyes darkened, lips parting slightly as he ran his thumb along your tongue.
"Open," he murmured.
And when you did?
He spat, slow, deliberate, watching with parted lips as it slid over your tongue.
And then, just to make it worse, he whispered—
"Swallow, baby."
Your head spun.
And before you could even process what was happening, his lips crashed against yours.
The kiss was hot, messy, completely unhinged.
His hands slid down, gripping your waist, pulling you flush against him, until you were trapped between his body and the cold wall of the private court.
You gasped softly, and Riki swallowed the sound immediately, deepening the kiss just enough to make your legs weak.
"See?" he muttered against your lips, his voice dripping with amusement.
"You just like letting me win."
Then, with zero hesitation, his hands slipped lower, gripping your thighs.
And before you could say another word, he lifted you effortlessly, pinning you against the wall completely.
The feeling of his hot breath against your neck, the firm press of his body against yours, the way he had you completely at his mercy. It all proved his
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peachesofteal · 3 months ago
Text
Sweet little librarian who works the closing shift and is always kind to Simon.
Simon who’s realized the world has pretty much left him behind, and all he can do post retirement is sit in his flat and watch mind numbing television or work out to the point of exhaustion in the gym. He doesn’t have social media, doesn’t even have more than ten apps on his phone (thanks Soap). The only computer he’s touched in the last decade is the desktop on base that he used to complete reports and other administrative things, or the banged up laptop they used to bring on missions.
So, he starts going to the library. He sets up at a table and reads books until his eyes bleed, pouring over decades of history because he pretty much refuses to live in the present.
That’s where he meets you. Or sees you, he guesses, since he doesn’t really talk much. You’re always asking him if he needs help or needs you to find him anything. You smell like vanilla icing, ripe strawberries and his mouth waters every time you appear at his side.
Sometimes you even sit down across from him with your lunch, scooping granola and yogurt out of a glass bowl, licking it clean by the time you get to the bottom.
“Hi.” You chirp, smiling. It stretches your face a bit, plumps your cheeks and adds a sparkle to your eyes. He grunts, but it doesn’t deter you. “What is it today?” You lean over, glancing at his spread of books and laminated papers. “Axis powers?” He stares at you. Watches your mouth and tongue work the spoon. He doesn’t answer, and you sigh. “You know, we never talk but you never tell me to go away so…” You trail off like you’re hopeful he’ll say something reassuring. He doesn’t, but you take it on the chin, and smile anyway. “Alright well, see you later then.”
He doesn’t know what’d he tell you, what he would say, how he would explain he’s bad and dirty and would drag you down to the pits of hell. Doesn’t tell you he can’t talk to you because then he’d have to keep you, and he’s not sure how to do that without snuffing the flame out, the one that he sees in your smile, the bounce in the balls if your feet. Doesn’t want to tell you he’d have to lock you away and he knows you’d be miserable.
He doesn’t say anything.
The following Monday, he catches sight of you in the children’s library. You’re sitting on the floor with a toddler, turning the big, bright pages, pointing and gesturing to the little boy’s delight. You look so… happy. So content.
Tectonic plates in his brain shift, and a new reality is born.
How can he keep you and keep you happy?
Easy. He’ll just fuck a baby into you.
He’s rough with it. Bends you over one of the desks tucked in the back after closing, shoves your dress up over your ass and kicks your legs apart. You struggle and cry, trying to bite, to scratch, screaming when he fits the head of his cock against your hole.
“Fuck shortcake,” he groans as he works his way inside, forcing you to take him inch by inch as tears stream down your face. “You’ve got such a good little cunt f’me huh?”
“N-n-no,” you wheeze, short of breath, and he kisses your cheek.
“Don’t worry,” he slides all the way home, shivers snaking up your spine when you clench, trying to take more, greedy for it even though you’re trying to fight. “It’s all gonna be okay.”
“Stop- please,” you rock your hips, but it buries his cock deeper. He grips your neck, pulls back and then slams into you, covering your scream with his palm. He licks your tears and you look at him in the mirror, desperation and horror welling in your eyes.
“I’m gonna take care of you,” he grits, control hanging by a thread, hanging back for one second to make sure he holds your gaze before shoving himself against your womb, “you and the baby.”
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